OMB Tweets #17

OMB Tweets #17

1. The sheer curtains in my son’s room are torn and grayish from pollution. No amount of washing, bleaching, kula, could whiten them. Getting him new sheer window curtains is on my list of things to buy.

A——-“Tart, gusto kong pumunta sa JC Penny, bibili ako ng kurtina para sa kwarto ng anak ko”.

E——-“Meron bang heavy weight?”
A——-“Ano, si Joe Frazier at Muhammad Ali?”

2. Suckin’ and Rubbin’. Sino’ng madumi isip? Not me.

3. Edmund was in a hurry to go home to catch the US Open championship. We didn’t have time to eat out so we “to-go” our favorite Chipotle.

He ate burrito in front of the tv while shouting “jabong!”
E———-“Hindi pala masarap itong Chipotle pag nasa bahay”.
A———-“Oo nga, nahirapan akong ubusin. Dapat may kasamang ambience”.

4.

Edmund wanted Jordan Spieth to win the US Open (he did).
E——–“Pambihira yang si Tiger Woods, osla na talaga, ten over”.
A——–“Don’t say that, Na he-hurt ang feelings ko. Sino ba gusto mong manalo?”
E——–“Jordan Spieth”.
A——–“Balimbing ka. Wala kang loyalty. Kala ko ba kay Tiger tayo?”
E——–“Wala na sya, osla na”.
A——–“Basta ako, Tiger will always be my champion, kahit magka windang-windang ang palo nya”.

5. E——–“Tart, I think maraming may problema sa ganyan (constipation). Hindi ka nag-iisa”.
E——–“Ang daming products, iba-iba. Ibig sabihin, maraming yan ang problema.”
E————“I think it’s more common on women”.
E————“Kayong mga babae, meron kayong waste disposal problem”.

6. Edmund ate chow mien at the newly opened Panda Express restaurant in front of Lowes. While this was my dinner, cup noodles about to expire next month. Lasang luma.

7. After the Sunday Mass at the Church of Good Shepherd, the priest called a Filipino couple and their daughter to the front. He blessed them in celebration of their 30th wedding anniversary. The blessing was short, probably done in less than 10 minutes. Then the priest said “You may now kiss your wife”.
Edmund reacted “Oh geez, malaking problema yan”.
There was some laughter from the audience. The male parishioners probably had the same reaction as my husband of 32 years.
Edmund said “patay kang bata ka. Patay tayo dyan”.

Hehehe. Mukhang kasuka-suka na talaga pag matagal ng mag-asawa. Dapat pala the couple had a briefing muna before they went for the blessing
Husband—–“Can you tell the priest to skip that kissing part and replace it with you may now hug each other.”
Wife——–“Hindi pwedeng hug lang, dapat kiss talaga”.
Husband——“Pwede ba sa pisngi na lang, beso-beso parang espanyol?”
Wife———“Pambihira ka naman, para every five years lang tayo magki-kiss, hindi mo pa matiis?”
Husband——“Sige na nga, pero kiss lang ha? Dampi lang, tsup, finished. Do not expect anything else beyond that.”