Our family went through tremendous stress beginning end of April till August, 2015. The shock was at its peak in May. I was crying while rolling on the floor, tumbling on our king bed. Not crying, but wailing. It was a family problem that was bigger than us.
It was a succession of tsunamis hitting one after the other. What made it even more difficult was the lack of cooperation in finding a solution to the mess. It must be a team effort. Kailangan tulung-tulong. It was so far the biggest test in our family’s team work, trust and faith in each other. It was very difficult in the beginning. It was also my biggest challenge as a parent. I blamed myself for everything.
Edmund and I did what we thought would be good for our children.
With prayers in our hearts, we went through each day supper stressed-out but still trying to keep our strength and faith that this problem would pass.
Among us all, I showed the most worry. I felt crumbling down. Kitang-kita naman sa effect on my face. Humulas talaga ang mukha ko, tumanda ako ng sampung taon. My photo 3 months ago was so different from my photo today. Grabe talaga. Konting foundation na lang at polvo, mukha na akong pang trick or treat.
Edmund was also extremely worried but he was better in hiding it.
He told me thrice that “wag mong apurahin, minsan ang problema, basta na lang naso-solve ng kusa”.
As a family, we took small steps toward clearing out the mess. May kaba at pag-aalala sa dibdib, Edmund and I continued to try to solve the problems. I also cried day and night. When I was calm, I held on to my request for the heavens to help our family. Because like what I’ve said, the problem is bigger than us.
The situation also tested our patience as parents. I wasn’t blessed with this virtue, but the unconditional love I have for my children gave me the patience to deal with this.
I implored my children to pray for help to. I asked for the guardian angels to come down here and help us.
Edmund was right, I needed to be more patient. Hindi ko kailangan magmadali. the mess are getting untangled. A great deal have been solved although there are still pending issues. We’re hoping they too would pass.
Two nights ago, I couldn’t sleep. It was 2 am, I prayed and thanked God profusely for helping us with our problems.
“Salamat po talaga ng marami” was all I could say repeatedly. My tears just started falling. It was a mixture of relief, happiness, sadness, lahat na all rolled into one. It was mostly a sigh of relief that the bigger problems have been solved. I remembered what I told my children, we just need one angel from above. One angel that would be sent by God.
Hindi na ako nakatulog until 5 am.
At breakfast, I told Edmund that I had no sleep, that I prayed, I cried, etc. Sabi nya post stress daw yun.
That was a strong blow.
I hope and pray there wouldn’t be anymore tsunamis in our lives.
A lot of lessons were learned and we’re hoping these would make all of us more prudent in our decisions. We should not trust ourselves too much no matter how smart we think we are.
hope you will be ok na ms annie. alam mo i was also going through a tough time in my life a year ago when i stumbled upon your blog. out of nowhere nakita ko blog mo and during one of those nights na malungkot iyak ako ng iyak at di makatulog, i suddenly found comfort in reading your posts. para ka kseng nanay kaibigan boss rolled into sort of everything na parang kinakausap ako na hoy wag kang mag mukmok! ang dame m pa dapat gawin kesa mag iiyak. patience really is a key and god works in a lot of ways. after a year may pinag dadaanan pa den but getting better, trying to survive and moving on. you have been a source of joy, smiles, laughter, comfort and wisdom and for that thank you thank you! i would still remember how coming across your blog made a difference in my life. wishing you the best of everything always!
Your husband is right Ms. Annie. Kusa na lang lilipas ang mga stressful situations na yan. I concur with you though, that there are problems bigger than us minsan especially mga bagay na di mo pwedeng “balikan”, “palitan”, “isoli”, di mo pwedeng “idelete” ng basta na lang. These are types of concerns that would literally make you do a cartwheel, look for a punching bag, and in my case, a hairdo change! And yes, these pestering issues would sometimes creep in the middle of night that makes you “ugly-looking” the following day. But ,hey, I guess it’s part of life! I think of it as peklat na di maalis, parang part of life. You just have to live with it, and when I’m in my ultra positive mood, I’d say “bring it on”, it makes life exciting! Kidding aside, whatever difficulty we’re going through, it SHOULD make us a better person, not bitter. I’ll give you a tip on what I do when I’m feeling really down and horrible: I reach out to people who are in need of anything in my own little way. Mas generous ako, weird but it keeps me maintain my sanity. It makes me thankful and appreciative of what I have kahit papano. Cheer up and take it easy!