I am super stressed out.
I went to the church yesterday afternoon at 1:20 pm. I knew I was late for the Sunday mass so I wasn’t surprised when there were only a handful of cars parked at the church’s parking lot.
I don’t remember the name of this church.
A Filipina was coming out of the church’s main door just as I was going in. She wanted to tell me that there’s no more mass. I told her “I just want to visit”. She nodded.
The choir members practicing looked at me when I walked in. I sat at the pew on the last row. I was distracted by their singing and they were distracted by my presence. I noticed they were all Filipinos.
I sat on the last row.
I’ve been to this church twice last year. It feels like no one could do me wrong when I am inside this hall. That I am going to be fine as long as I stay inside.
I am super stressed out talaga. Am both sad and mad. And full of regrets too for certain decisions that I’ve made. One bad decision after another. Sucks. I was already given a sign not to proceed but I went ahead due to pressure. And now this crazy situation. Stupid. I meant well and wanted to please people and help others but… look what happened. Stupid. Stupid.
Grrrr.
I was up the whole night because I was super super super upset. My heart was pounding and I thought I was going to have a heart attack. My son needs me still so I cannot die yet.
At 3 am, I stood up and went to my mini altar. I felt embarrassed to ask for help. Lagi na lang akong ganito. Always asking for help. Siguro sabi ni Lord, “Ano ba naman yan. Mahina kasi ulo mo. I told you so!”
Aww, Ms Annie.. GOD will NEVER SAY what u thought HE would say — abt u having a mahinang ulo — but more likely He would say MATIGAS KASI ULO MO, ANAK, HINDI KA NAKIKINIG SA MGA SIGNS NA PINAPADALA KO SAYO…
GOd knows what’s in ur heart even before u pray abt it to Him.. maybe all He wanted was for u to COME TO HIM and ASK FOR HIS MERCY.. and that’s exactly what u did..
I have always believed that GOD IS NEVER OBLIVIOUS TO OUR PRAYERS, most especially if what we are praying for comes SINCERELY from our hearts.. ❤
HE is just waiting for us to ASK, so we could RECEIVE.. SEEK so we can FIND, and KNOCK so doors can be OPENED for us..
All we need is a STRONG FAITH and WHOLEHEARTED TRUST and GRATITUDE to God, and HE WILL GIVE US WHATEVER OUR HEART NEEDS… ❤
I will pray for u too, Ms Annie, so that whatever it is that’s bothering u will soon blow over.. and that God will give ur heart the calmness and peace that u deserve so that u will no longer have sleepless nights while ur away.. ❤
God bless u always and may God keep u safe, Ms Annie.. ❤ Love u po ❤
Thank you so much Pam for your concern.
As always, you will get through this situation. With God’s grace you will pull through. Don’t be too hard on yourself An.
You’ll get through this! But know that some people take advantage of our kindness. God bless
God knows that we’re strong..That’s why He gave us these tests..Let’s just pray for strength.. God bless Annie !
Thank you Anne.