In the past, what I was doing would be frowned upon and unimaginable. Sometime in May and June of this year, I looked at several cemetery lots for myself. Yes, you read it right, for myself. It’s morbid and daunting, but the reality is that all humans will eventually need a place to rest, literally and figuratively. It sounds terrifying, but when our time comes, those we will leave behind will be tasked with finding a decent place to either bury us or keep our ashes. And madalas, since families don’t prepare for this sad event when someone dies, panic ensues. Saan ililibing?
And some enterprising companies or individuals charge astronomical fees to families who are in dire need of a libingan for their departed loved one. The families are already grieving and dealing with their loss and are aggravated by having to prepare the funeral arrangements. And speaking of funeral arrangements, meron na kami ni Edmund, bumili na ako last year. It includes the burol for several days, even simple flowers, and food for visitors.
When I die, I don’t want to leave stress to my family kung saan ako ililibing.
I am still traditional, I want to be buried just like my parents and my brothers, Kuya Ben and Kuya Romy. I don’t know if I will change my mind in the future, but cremation is something that I haven’t accepted yet. My husband, though, is firm on having his body cremated.
Even if I eventually decide to be cremated, I want my children and grandchildren to place my ashes not on our altar at home. However, keeping them in a columbarium is also a good alternative.
For now, I want them to go to a single place where Edmund and I’s remains will be. And I want it to be in a cemetery.
There are many cemeteries in Luzon but only a few are close to our residence. Heritage Park and Marikina Memorial. The rest are out of the grid. One consideration is my children’s safety and security when they are visiting us. Mahirap yung super traffic, malayo, or creepy. But all cemeteries are creepy. Pero ayaw ko yung lugar na baka maholdup pa sila, or bumabaha only to find my casket floating around like a yacht.
We went to look in Manila Memorial Park. There was one offered to us by the relatives of my son-in-law. We drove around the cemetery to feel the ambiance. Ano ba yung kailangan pa merong ambiance eh patay na ako nun, hindi ko na malalaman or mapi feel ano’ng ambience. Mahimbing na ang tulog ko. Wala ng gisingan. I saw the graves of Ninoy Aquino, Cory Aquino, Pnoy, and other eminent personalities. Nadun pala mayayaman nung wala pa ang Heritage. There’s one that stands out like the Pantheon in Rome, super laki.
Manila Memorial Park is far from our house although my daughter thinks it’s convenient because it’s along the way when going to Tagaytay. Ayaw ni Edmund, baka daw walang bibisita sa akin dun.
Next was in Sto. Rosario Memorial Park in Binangonan, Rizal where my brother is buried. Edmund said lalo nang walang bibisita sa akin dun. Too far and heavy traffic to go to Binangonan from our residence.
A nice mausoleum at the Santo Rosario Memorial Park in Binangonan belonging to the Doblada family.
Ynares’s lolo and lola
Maraming mga nakaistambay sa ibabaaw ng nicho, Naghihingutuhan yung iba. According to the caretaker, every morning, he sweeps at least 25 pieces of used condom around the area. That means young girls roam around here at night and men come here for s e x. Nay ko po. I see the words single mothers, abandoned babies, teen moms, poverty, flashing in my head. I hope hindi pareho nung napanood ko sa documentary sa tv na P50 ang bayad sa mga 12-year olds for s e x. #hukab #violenceagainstchildren #childexploitation
The only cemetery left was Heritage Park in Bonifacio Taguig City. So I zeroed in my search in the area. Edmund’s departed relatives including his father, grandfather, aunt, uncle, niece, are in Heritage so when my children and apos come to visit me, they can also visit the Yees.
We looked at several lots. Iba-ibang klase. Merong garden, merong may benches, merong may mga bahay. Lahat creepy and looking sad. Of course, patay na lahat ng nadun kaya creepy. Maraming super laki pero alam mong wala ng bumibisita or nag-aalaga.
The ones sold by their office were more expensive than those in the secondary market. Many invested when this park was developed and are selling their lots a little bit lower than what the developer or office is selling. There’s a price difference of about 20%. Sayang din yun.
This one is nice, newly constructed and unused. Siguro for future use lang, inaayos lang. Baka malakas pa yung owners. By the time they’ll need this, luma na.
Heritage Memorial Park is along the flight path of international jets landiing and taking off from the NAIA Internationl Airports. The engine’s noise is so loud. The souls here cannot have a good rest or maybe they are already used to this level of noise.
There was one corner lot that I looked at with the agent. It’s very near the musoleum of Henry Sy, Sr. and his grand daughter, the daughter of Bigboy or Henry Sy, Jr. It’s across the resting place of Tessie Sy’s husband according to the sales agent.
There was a foreboding feeling which I couldn’t explain. One day I would say okay, we’ll take this. Then after a few minutes there was a feeling of anxiety, fear or worry which again I couldn’t pinpoint. That on and off feeling, yes and no decision, indecisiveness persisted for almost a month. When I said okay, the sellers increased their selling price by P500,000 so I said pass.
Then this same agent told my daughter na meron na palang dating nakalibing dun sa pwesto na inoffer nya sa akin. Hinukay lang daw at inilipat na lang yung bones sa church. Kasi the heirs, a brother and a sister decided to cash in from the sale of their mother’s cemetery lot because the amount is substantial. Kaya pala urong-sulong ako. Kaya pala parang merong pumipigil sa akin. Kaya pala!!!! Nakakakilabot naman yun, meron na pala dung nakalibing dati, sana full disclosure. They should disclose to potential buyers and it would be up to the buyer to proceed or not. Grabe, baka nakalibing na ako dun, multuhin pa ako nung dating nakalibing. Baka gambalain (bother) ako sa gabi, hindi ako maka rest in peace. Paalisin ako.
