Noche Buena flooded with Tears

My daughter decorated our house extra special this Christmas season because it’s going to be Theo’s first Christmas on earth.
She augmented our old decors with new ones she ordered online.

We didn’t buy new Christmas lights. We still have last year’s LED rice lights. For fear of fire, we didn’t deck our main staircase with Christmas lights.

She also filled the bottom of our tree with gifts for everyone.

She also ordered food for our Noche Buena. Riders are super in demand these past few days medyo the food arrived a little late based on the agreed delivery time but still early for Noche Buena.

We have so much food, not coordinated, basta, we have food.
Oyen ordered baked salmon with rosemary, roast pork, paella, and caesar salad. Edmund brought home Macao Lechon and pancit canton. Nagpaluto ako ng buttered prawns and chili garlic alimasag. Antonia cooked spaghetti. The maids’ own Noche Buena menu is spaghetti, prawns, porkchop, Pepsi, tasty bread, and dessert.

Noche Burna food

Paella negra (squid ink)

They went to her in-law’s house for gifts opening and attended the 6 pm mass while Edmund played golf. I went to Farmers Market to buy fresh fruits and a few things to complement the food Oyen ordered.  I also distributed a few Noche Buena packs to beggars sitting along Camp Crame’s fence.

This guy says he has 6 children and 9 grandchildren and one of them is this boy.  I advised him to tell his children to limit their number of pregnancies to 2.  Parang ang dami na ring mga anak.



I was so sleepy beginning at 2- 3 pm but didn’t want to sleep kasi baka mapasarap ako ng tulog eh hindi pa ready yung dining table.

I set up a dining table in the great room infront of the Christmas tree. Para maiba naman hindi lang puro sa kitchen lang kami kumakain.

Christmas dining table

I also tried to clear my closet of clothes I haven’t worn but still with tag prices. Sayang puro size Small.

Naduduling talaga ako sa antok so I went to bed at 7:30 aware that I have to be up by 9 pm. Natanim sa isip ko na 10 pm kami kakain. Edmund promised to wake me up.

I didn’t know that my daughter, Theo, and D, were back since 8:30 pm and had been waiting for us.

9:45 pm I panicked and started getting ready.

Oyen came up to me and said “are we not gonna eat yet? Let’s eat I’m exhausted”. I took it differently because of the tone of her voice.  I thought she was hurrying me up and waiting was her reason for feeling exhausted. I felt so pressured, so dali-dali ako. When she came back,  I blurted out my frustrations.  She said I yelled at her. I was feeling bad that I was the reason pala of her exhaustion, mabagal ako, the food was not ready, etc. I felt that was her reason. I snarled at her. I cried, she cried.

We were having a photo together with Theo beside the Christmas tree but my tears kept flowing. I couldn’t control them. Every year I looked haggard in our Christmas photos kaya I wanted to take a nap para kako I would at least look refreshed. Eh kabaliktaran ang nangyari. Puro iyak, eh di lalong pumangit yung pictures ko.

Christmas tears

Things got out of control when we were already seated at the table because every word we said to each other was met with more confusion and miscommunication. Pati si Edmund nadamay na rin.  He asked me and Oyen to leave the table and sort it out but I insisted on staying there.
So, instead of feeling happy, we took away the “merry” from Christmas. The dining table I set up was flooded not with love and holiday cheer but with tears fueled by resentment, misunderstanding, sarcasm, disrespect, and animosity. How very sad and I was the first instigator.

Tears dimmed the lights on our tree.  It’s not merry and bright.

Christmas tree not bright


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