I had two dreams last night, or at least these are the ones I could still remember. The first one was set in a five-star hotel here in Manila. There was a big event at the hotel and I was only observing people and the busy hotel staff. The next thing was that I was already getting involved in the preparations and checking on the table cutleries, drinks, pastries, etc. Helping and suggesting which ones are good and all. One by one the people around me started disappearing and I was left alone to prepare for the food, floral decorations, ballroom set-up, etc. It’s Kris Aquino’s grand wedding but there’s no mention of the lucky groom. She asked me to take-charge of the whole dinner reception, including breakfast, lunch and snacks for that day, for the guests who were already at the hotel. I panicked when I realized there’s no way I could cook all those food, prepare, set-up the tables, etc. I asked the hotel staff to inform their French chef to start preparing for Kris Aquino’s wedding reception. They told me they are still busy putting together her order of P3,000 worth of sausages for each of her friends.
My second dream was about Ellen.
Edmund and I were walking inside a mall, then nasalubong namin si Edwin and he was with Ellen. She was wearing a pair of tight jeans and a light colored fluffy blouse with mini-sleeves. Before I could even react and ask why he’s with Ellen and I thought she’s dead, yun pala buhay pa sya, Ellen came -up to me and gave me a big hug. She leaned on my right shoulder, and my head leaned to my left.
Next thing I knew was we were not standing up, but actually I was laying down on the bed and Ellen was on top of me. She wasn’t moving or saying anything, her arms around me and her body on top of me. I could really feel the weight of her body. After a few moments I began to get scared so I started calling-out to Edmund who was beside me. He couldn’t hear me, I called and called but he wasn’t helping me. Ellen was still there clinging to me. I called out my son’s name instead but he also couldn’t hear me. He’s in the other room. Then I called Julienne but her room was farther away. I called-out to Edmund again and at this point I started crying while calling his name. He didn’t hear me.
Then I heard the sound of our puppy Stitch slurping his pee on the carpet. I was still calling Edmund. Then I opened my eyes and glanced at Edmund, he was there asleep. I closed my eyes again and felt the heavy weight of Ellen’s body.
I continued mumbling and calling Edmund. Then I heard Stitch’s movement again. I opened my eyes, stood-up and went to my bathroom to pee.
I went back to bed and closed my eyes. I felt scared and terribly sad. My melancholy was mixed with self-pity. Then I started sobbing. This time Edmund heard me sobbing. “‘tart, tart, why are you crying? Nag-night mare ka?”
He woke me up and forced me to drink water. I was still crying, I told him I’ve been calling him and he didn’t help me.
He said I just thought I was calling him because it was just a dream. He said he did not hear me.
Until now I still feel a mixture of fright, desolation and self-pity.
