When I am 70

I realized that the number 70 is much closer than I think. My doctor brother likes to say– not to worry about getting old because it takes a very long time. Parang hindi yata. Parang ang bilis. When I was 12 I was so inip na to be 18. Now that I am way past 50, getting old is around the corner. Actually it’s right here staring at me. It’s on my cute face!

I still have many plans for myself. I have a list of things to do. Not a bucket list. Not a travel list. But projects that would take time to mature.
I planted pine trees too and I am looking forward to see them grow as tall as a two story house.

I myself cannot believe how old I am. Sometimes I forget that I am THIS old. But some people have a way of reminding me. My husband’s effortless way is a prime example.
E———“Mukha kang singkwenta”.
A———“Oh my God, mukha na akong singkwenta?”.
E———“Eh ano pa! Alangan namang mukha kang kwarenta”.

Sometimes I get mistaken for Oyen’s sister. Everytime I hear that compliment, I don’t quite believe it. I am way past that stage where everything is about my face, my dress, my looks. At this point, I care more for my family’s well being, the sustainability of our projects, peace on earth, and everything else outside of me.

I have also set new goals and dreams. One time my brother told me mahirap to embark on new projects at our age kasi daw baka hindi namin matapos. Meaning, baka makamatayan. Siguro naman hindi pa ako mamamatay bukas, next year, or in 5 years. My advancing age doesn’t stop me naman from dreaming and doing the things I want to do.

My son has very high dreams. At his age, 25, I want him to slow down muna with his grand ideas. Start slow and prudent. His age doesn’t mean he’s too young to accomplish grand things. I want him to assess first his foundation before trying to build a skyscraper. Ano na nga ba yung kasabihan ng mga matatanda? Ang sobrang bilis tumakbo, mas malaki ang sugat pag nadapa? It doesn’t rhyme. Basta the meaning is to have slower steps but sure and this would be more stable. Less chances of falling.

My daughter would be 40+ when I reach 70. I am excited to see how our bonding would be like. I hope she doesn’t get tired being my IT assistant, helping me pay my bills on line, checking my computer when it hangs, and being my overall COO. By then I would have officially relinguished my office space and she would be the one occupying my messy desk.

She would probably have her own family by then, and so is my son. I will prepare a weekly lunch or dinner for all of us, not potluck, unless they want me to taste their own cooking. I will have a memorabilia room with photos of my grandchildren, their names, nicknames and birthdays, so Edmund and I don’t miss giving them a gift on their special days.

Edmund would always be out playing golf. He would probably have one less activity, his two x monthly haircuts. His favorite barber passed away last month so he is still in an adjustment period with the new barbers. The new one cut his hair very fast. The one who died cut them very slow which Edmund preferred so he could doze off. When I am 70, all his hairs would be gone so there’s no necessity of going to the barber. He also doesn’t need to go to the manicurista kasi baka patay na mga kuko nya.

I see my days as a little chaotic, always arguing with my septuagenarian husband about everything. Two very opinionated people, tired of each other, more irritated than in love, blaming each other for losing the other person’s pustiso.

I hope by then the television and cable remote controls would be simpler and under voice command. I don’t like to deal with so many buttons to press. Until now I still don’t know how to fix the tv when I accidentally press some of the buttons. I had to wait for husband to come home to fix it for me. At 70+, my husband would no longer be that sweet, patient and kind to me. If he gets mad, I would be totally defenseless because I would be weaker and more vulnerable.

I see myself as being physically alone most of the time. So basically I would probably be sitting on the porch every night, looking at the stars, missing my children’s warm embrace, waiting for the fireflies to illuminate my heart.