Advance Anniversary

Our trip to St. Andrews is not just about living out a golfer’s dream. It is also an advanced anniversary celebration. Instead of throwing a big party come December, we’re just going to have a simple dinner at home or in a restaurant with our kids.

Our travel here in Europe is our wedding anniversary party, with just the two of us.

There was an American couple from the East Coast who were also taking pictures at the Swilcan Bridge. We offered to take their photo together, and they returned the favor by taking ours. It’s their 25th wedding anniversary. The woman and I agreed that reaching 25 years is an accomplishment and must be celebrated. She told me “you know, it’s not easy”.

Back in Manila, just a week before we left for UK, a male acquaintance of mine, who’s in his mid 40s, asked for my advise on his marital challenges. I was truly surprised but elated at the same time. This fellow carries with him a pedigree name. The wife too. It seems that their marriage has hit a bunker (in golf parlance). They’ve become indifferent to each other, and have limited their conversations only to topics concerning their teen children.

I didn’t want to ask for details of their situation out of respect to his privacy. I just gave him some general pieces of advise based on my perception of what’s going on.

Edmund and I will hit the 30th mark in December. To say that he made me inis 30 times only is not enough. To say I irritated him 300 times is more accurate.

There is no hard and fast rule on how to keep your marriage alive.

There was a time in our married life that I was so sad and I wanted to get out of what I perceived was a very lonely life with him. I planned on leaving him. I already laid out a plan to join my siblings in the US. But some realization took place. One day, I stood still and looked back at what brought Edmund and I together in the first place. I stopped my life a bit and pondered on the good things Edmund had done and the many good qualities he had despite the ones that irritated me. I learned how to appreciate him more. I tried to focus on his good qualities. And I went back to the beginning of my married life. Whenever I would cry because he hurt my feelings, I would remind myself that this man chose to marry me because he truly loved me. and I cannot just leave him like that. So I stayed, and I don’t regret it. He makes me inis many times, I also inis him all the time. But we know that we’re here to stay together and would take care of each other.

God put Edmund and I together maybe for a reason. Despite our many challenges, we are still here, together, sharing occasional laughter and silly things together. We fight and scream at each other. But when nerves have subsided, we still talk and share room together. We still care for each other and I think it is still safe to say that we still love each other.

Marriage is not just about two people. It is also about life and more importantly, about family. We are now 4. We’ve been blessed and entrusted by the Creator to take care of and be parents to two people. Four is a bigger number than just the two of us.

Come December, we would be counting 30s. Too far ahead to start counting 4os, in the meantime, we celebrate our advance wedding anniversary here in St. Andrews.

Cheers to us.

This is Oh my buhay,
sharing my life,
from Scotland.