Bad Mood

My day started pretty standard and calm although I am nursing a cold and bad throat. I had a steaming hot chicken molo soup for lunch to help curb my cough.

I bought twenty pieces of Judas belt (sawa) and a box of fireworks from Dragon Firework’s office in Julia Vargas, for tonight’s welcoming of the Chinese New Year.
They transferred to the second floor of the complex. There’s construction going on with someone spraying paint. I am sensitive to this smell. within minutes, I could have an intense migraine attack. I covered my nose and held my breath to and from their office.

Dragon office manager—–“Mam, buntis ka ba?”
Omb———————–“I wish”.
Dragon office manager—–“Ay bakit mam, nakunan ka?”

My driver took some time to come pick me up. There were vacant parking slots in front of the building but for some reason he chose to park farthest. I had to phone him several times to find out where he was. In the meantime, I had to endure heat and noise. The noise was coming from a nearby event’s tent with vibrating drums, treble and base coupled with a DJ’s music box blasting in loud speakers. It pounded my head for a good ten minutes.

I dropped off a box of the Judas belt at Ford EDSA and gave instructions as to when and hwo to light the pyrotechnics safely.

On my way home, I gave the driver simple instructions. Bukas ng umaga, yung limang sawa ay dadalhin sa Makati. Yung lima ay para sa bahay. Lima sa Makati, lima sa bahay. Ilagay yung supot sa garahe.

When we got home:
Driver———–“Mam, apat, apat ang ibaba dito sa bahay”.

(Did I just say five some 3 minutes ago?)

Edmund was already home and was watching tv when I arrived. He hasn’t had lunch so we went down to eat. Antonia prepared chopsuey and pochero that is swimming in liquid.

I haven’t started eating, Antonia walked into our family dining carrying the box of firecrackers. I got so mad. I just snapped. I called the driver and yelled at him. I was just so mad. This things happen not just because of one reason. When I lose it, it’s due to a build-up of inis. Lahat na napansin ko. Edmund was trying to pacify me pero pati sa kanya nainis rin ako.

I was so upset. I looked for my slippers and found them dirty. “Ilang beses ko bang sasabihin na lilinisin ang tsinelas ko?”

Pati luto ni Antonia napansin ko. Normally kahit anong lutuin nya, okay lang sa akin. “Pochero ba yan? Parang soup sa dami ng sabaw. At tingnan mo, pareho ng ingredients sa chopsuey”.

I was still eating when Edmund stood up and took a phone call. Nainis rin ako. And who was that. We’re still having dinner. That could wait. He could have told the person may I call you back we’re still having dinner. I really don’t like it when we are having a conversation or eating together when he leaves me to take a call. The only excuse is if my children are calling.

I was really in a bad mood. I am having a very bad throat and my body feels feverish. My muscles are aching and shaking and my eyes are watery.

I went up to our room with a glass of buko juice and a glass of water.
My inis persisted. While he was coming up the stairs, I asked him who was that? Someone from the bank, about this and that. It was like, what do they want, it’s dinner time. Can’t that wait tomorrow morning during office hours? I normally don’t ask but last night was a bad mood night kaya lahat napapansin ko, lahat inis ako.

Edmund calmly asked “Tart, san ka galing? Galing ka ba sa office? Bakit mainit ang ulo mo, what is it?” My tears started falling. It was good kasi medyo na release ang init ng ulo ko. I tried to control my tears, otherwise mahahagulgol na ako.

To give my husband credit, he tried to make kwento to deviate my attention from whatever was making me inis. We watched my favorite show House Hunters International. He reminisced when he and my papa (27 years ago) were looking for an apartment/house to rent. That’s when he found the old bungalow in Via Melina.

I went to bed at 11 pm and woke up at 2 am. I stood up and checked on my children if they’re home. I must have awakened Edmund. He hugged me. Nothing interesting happened after that. Just pure love, no malice.

I woke up at 7:30 still feeling bad but a little calmer. I will skip work today and go visit a flu doctor or maybe I need a psychiatrist. Or maybe get an acupuncture. I hope I feel better tomorrow. It’s Chinese New Year.