I am still crying up to now. Parang na-trauma ako. I just couldn’t help but feel terrified and sad. Sad for losing Jazzy. Terrified for the worst that could have happened.
I also feel guilty. I was the one who hired that guy. When he was brought to me, there was some hesitation in my heart but still, I went ahead and hired him.
Kagabi it was a struggle getting everything off my mind. I recited the Our Father and I believe in God but somewhere in the middle, napupunta uli dun sa images of our garage, the blood on the floor, yung fears ko, yung galit ko. Parang I wanted to scream.
There’s a restaurant where I could go to throw plates on the wall to help release negative emotions. Maybe I should go there, that’s too far naman, in Tarlac.
Maybe I should bang my plates on our wall. Bili ako ng mga plastic mamaya.
Edmund and I had lunch today here in the office. We shared 3 orders of Mang Inasal’s grilled chicken and rice.
Over lunch, he made me cry by telling me about one of our dogs who gave birth to five dead puppies. We couldn’t remember the name, but he said he truly believed that that particular dog gave up his five puppies’ lives for me. They took the hit instead of me. He said it happened on the day when the doctors found no cancer in my body. The first diagnosis was stage 1 A but after they opened me up, they found no cancer. I was cleared and no treatment was required. Maybe the five innocent puppies absorbed the cancer.
That episode in my life was devastating and it took at least five long years before I partially recovered emotionally and psychologically. It was both sad and scary and even after 14 years, I still experience occasional bouts of melancholy every time I would be reminded of what happened to me.
Edmund said the timing was not coincidental. The dog gave birth while I was in the hospital. He really believed that our dogs loved us so much that they offered their lives for us. For our health, for our safety.
If it’s really true that dogs indeed go to heaven, I find solace with the fact that we have angel dogs up there who would protect us from harm.
Fendi, Jacko, Jasmine, Simba, Hershey, Buddy, Lilo, Lincoln, and Jazzy.
Alam m ms Annie. I believe in that. My father used to have a big aquarium of different fishes whom he tends and really enjoyed looking at. He never loved animals but when his health deteriorated due to diabetes, he found solace in fishes. Everytime he was admitted to the hospital one fish dies. He told us sinave sha ng alaga nya. Though my father passed away 6years ago, naalala ko pa den yun and though I feel sad for you that your beloved jazzy has passed, I am sure there’s one great reason why it happened. May you find comfort in the thought that jazzy is in her happy place already.
Thank you Olive.
PleAse be safe and healthy ms. A. Condolence for the death of your dog Jazzy.
Dogs are indeed men’s best friend. Be well mrs. Yee.