Chipp Games— Rated R

This is a Rated R. Please don’t read this post if you are not in possession of a senior citizen card.

There was a segment in the Chippendales show called Chipp Games. They picked 3 ladies from the audience. I wasn’t sure if it was intentional or coincidental that the three they picked were all beyond their maximum weight limit. One’s maybe 30 lbs. overweight, the second one looks 50 lbs overweight and the third one looks like she’s 199.8 lbs after she peed.

There were three fully clothed men who were seated on three separate chairs
and each of the women were made to sit on the men’s lap.

The three participants were each subjected to a different challenge.

Woman #1 Challenge: She has to dance or make intense seductive moves while sitting on the man’s lap.
Music please—- Woman started gyrating while sitting on the guy’s lap and facing him. Whooooo! Feel na feel nya ha. Talagang sineryoso.
The Chippendale guy felt awkward. Even if she’s a chubby chup chup ang lambot ng katawan, kitang-kita mo yung pwet nya gumigiling. This could be her daily exercise. The guy said “hooo that was intense!”

Woman # 2 Challenge: She was asked to spread her legs in front of the guy and make seductive moves too. While standing in front of the guy, she raised her right leg and rested her foot on the backrest of the chair the guy was sitting on. She was supposed to start gyrating and make effing moves but ang problema dahil siguro sa katabaan nya, her legs got stuck she couldn’t move. Note that this’s the girl that’s tipping 200 lbs. She compensated by raising both her arms with the intention to use her upper body to wiggle and gyrate. Ang nangyari naman when she raised both her arms, lumaylay naman mga taba nya sa braso at sa shoulders nya. She was able to wiggle her fingers and hands, but not her body. We, the audience, didn’t find it sexy and seductive. Remember this was a contest.

Woman #3 Challenge: She was seated while the fully clothed Chippendale stood before her. She was given a banana. Oh baligtad. The guy was given a banana to hold with his right hand in front of the woman. Kunwari eto yung birdie nya.

The woman challenger was given a condom. Her challenge was to open the condom and insert the banana into the condom. Teka baligtad yata??? Insert the condom or insert the banana? Nay ko ang bilis nyang nabuksan yung condom, isinubo nya agad, pagkurap ko naisubo na nya yung saging, naiwan na nya dun yung condom. Mahalay. Judging from her confidence, speed and accuracy of her moves, mukhang she has done this many times. Kung bagito ka baka malunok mo pa yung condom. Sya hindi, mukhang sanay.

This third contestant was adjudged the winner because she got the loudest applause from the audience. Obvious itong audience mahilig din sa saging. She was given a supot containing her prize. They probably gave her the banana. She can eat it still. Malinis pa yun, hindi naman na contaminate kasi bukod sa nakabalot pa ng condom, meron pa syang balat.

Kawawa naman itong saging ano, puro kalaswaan na lang ang nangyayari sa kanya. Masarap ang saging, lalo na kung hinog na iprito at isawsaw sa asukal. Mayaman pa sa potassium, energy booster, gamot pa sa LBM. It wasn’t created by nature to be sexually molested.

#pleaserespectthebanana
#savetheturonmovement