I received this comment a few minutes ago although my post Ninang Sa Kasal came out a year ago. Thank you to the sender.
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This was an excellent posting. Wish I knew the language to get the whole picture but what I gleaned of your words and readers comments was most beneficial. I truly commend you on sticking to your principles. Bravo.
My unwell mother has been asked to be a ninang for a wedding. I had no idea what a ninang was but was enlightened (and then concerned) after googling the definition, responsibilities & expectations: “God parent”, ok, but for a wedding?!?
Admittedly I am not fully versed on Filipino traditions but it sounds like the cultural significance of the ‘honour’ has been lost over time and this is yet another means for people to merely fleece money from friends and family or even acquaintances (which I think rather shameful & appalling).
It sounds to me that these days newlyweds and/or their parents are more interested in the financial gain than any guidance the ninang could dispense. And when one thinks that up to 24 ninangs could be appointed for a wedding…well that’s just silly! It makes for a whole lot of opinions and advice for one couple to take for which I am sure they’re not a bit interested in hearing.
I don’t want my mother spending $1000 on airfare so she can risk her health and well being flying 12 hours to then give the betrothed yet more money… Money she herself needs for her medical and living expenses.
I apologize if I sound a tad incensed but until last year I’d never heard of this particular family of relatives (?!) and especially not the daughter whose wedding my mother will soon sponsor. In fact, I doubt they themselves have ever met, nor will meet again.
Because of my mother’s deteriorating condition I would rather her not go at all and just fork out the money and ‘gift’ it to them (undeserving as they are in my opinion). Particularly as this means I will have to take her part of the way to Singapore to ensure she makes the flight safely to Manila and then dad will probably have to fly to Singapore to collect her and ensure she makes it home again. More wasted money. Arghhhh…
She probably sees this as an ‘honour’ to be a part of all the pomp and ceremony but I see this for what it is – A bank roll.
It would be nice to be invited to something without being obliged to dip one’s hand into the wallet.
Gosh, may i also share my own thoughts…. i am turning 40yo this june, and i already have 8 pairs of inaanaks in ‘weddings’! My first was when i was only 34!
I told my husband and mom abt it, and both were surprised — considering my age at that time and my age gap with the couple getting married (28 & 32). But bec of that ‘honour thing’, and given the reason that perhaps they look up to me and my ‘relationship’ with my husband and/or taking note of ‘achievements’ ive earned — i said ‘yes’. Which then unexpectedly preceeded the 2nd, 3rd…..
What’s annoying lang actually is when the actual day comes and i always end up being the youngest among the other principal sponsors. And being paired with a certain Congressman, a lawyer, a CEO, owner of a company, and the like….and people will be staring at me what the hell am i doing at the presidential table!
What’s worse? Getting to hear “mayaman kase yan kaya kinuhang ninang!”
Whew, how do you know????
Its not at all music to my ears, but rather a roll of wrecking drums!!!!
:))
Pagkinasal uli ako Marya, ninang ka.