Crying Men

Crying Gentleman

We’ve heard of so many true stories about crying children and women
who appeared at the wake of husbands antagonizing the already
depressed and distraught family of the dead. The wife’s grief is
aggravated by the shock that her husband kept a woman and children
without she finding out. And since he’s now dead, what does she do?
Scream and drag him out of his ataul? Tear his pinya kalado barong
while screaming TAKSIL.
Cancel all burial preparations and donate his cadaver to the laboratory
department of the University of Santos Tomas?

How about crying gentleman? No, there could never be. Because seldom
do men cry. They are able to hold their emotions and not shed a tear.
And seldom that men grieve heavily over the loss of his wife. In many
cases, they are relieved and happy. Ay salamat, wala na si Bru (ha).

But there are some exceptions to the rule. There are men who do
cry, but not in front of other people. Just in the comfort of his room.
But what if the one crying is not the husband? But a man who just
suddenly appeared at the wake of the wife? And who is that? And
how about a little boy holding his hand and also looking sad?

Here’s Philip’s story.

When China was not yet the global icon, many Filipino entrepreneurs
exported handicrafts to Europe and mostly to America. Baskets, capiz
shells, rattan chairs, hand woven placemats and coasters, etc.

Philip’s handicrafts business expanded when he received orders from big US importers.
From 40 basket weavers and 2 finishing painters, the number of his workers grew to 350.
He acquired the adjacent lot, expanded his workshop and he built a two-story residential house which also doubled as his office.
His business kicked when he was able to get contracts from the big
stores in the US. He traveled more often, visiting his clients, attending roadshows and participating in international trade exhibits to get more clients.

I met him many years ago at the Citem-organized trade show. I have been to his factory and house in Cavite and he even gave me a set of hand painted baul made of papier mache.

He told me his wife regularly went ballroom dancing. They also have a house in Greenhills where he stayed every weekend.

One day his wife eloped with the security guard stationed at their Greenhills’ gate. He said he’s younger and matipuno.
He was devastated but he just wenet on with his life and focused on their business. He said he wasn’t angry at his wife except that he’s worried because he knew that his wife would be the one working for this guy.

I met him again after a few years and I asked him “oh ano, kumusta? okay na kayo ng wife mo?”
Philip said she passed away two years ago.

His story:
Two years after his wife left him for the security guard, she came back at their house in Cavite. He said he was in the kitchen when their worker called him. He froze when he realized who was there. His wife looked so frail and she aged a lot.
He walked up to her, she started sobbing. Her eyes were glued on the floor and she glanced at him when he sat beside her.
He said he didn’t know what to say. He just found himself embracing his wife. And when he felt her bones and frail body, he couldn’t help but cry. She was also wearing a scarf around her head. He knew she was sick.

He took care of her and tried to find the best treatment for her cancer of the ovary. She died peacefully at their home in Cavite, with him holding her hand and their kids at her bedside.

Philip said he was thankful that he was given the chance to be with her again even for a short period of time. He was able to show his love for her. He apologized na napabayaan nya nung busy sya sa negosyo nila.

Before she passed away, his wife told him that 6 months after she left, she got pregnant. Her sickness was discovered a few weeks after giving birth. The guy became abusive because she couldn’t give him a lot of money. It was clear that he only was after her money. He used their son as his way of extracting money from her. He left her with the boy after he couldn’t stand her sick condition anymore. He didn’t want to take care of her. He took the boy because he said their son would inherit a lot of money and properties after she died.

I asked Philip— “o nasan yung bata?”
Philip———– kinuha ko.

Philip said the security guard showed up at the wake a day before his wife’s burial. The guy brought the boy and told Philip that he could have the boy in exchange for P200,000. Philip’s lawyers prepared the necessary documents. He is now the legal guardian of the boy and after the security guard received the money, Philip hasn’t heard and seen him since.

(Philip is not his real name.)