Dried Scorpion and Centipede Tea

Edmund has been going to a Chinese doctor once a week.
It’s by appointment only. He sets his appointment at least two weeks in advance. Even if there’s a specific appointment time, Edmund complains of an hour wait. That means the doctor’s secretary is not able to manage the flow of the patients. A half hour waiting time is tolerable but not one hour.

Aside from having incorrigible handwriting, most doctors in the Philippines have total disregard for patient’s time. Sick people should not be made to wait. They are not feeling well. They are grouchy, edgy, impatient, and disoriented. They must be attended to fast and the most comfortable way possible to make them feel better. It’s okay to make them wait if there’s no appointment. If it’s only first come first served.

Last week, the Chinese doctor / albularyo prescribed a herbal tea supplied by their clinic. There were seven packs of dried-looking tree barks. Nagpabili pa kami ng palayok because the doctor’s instruction was it must be cooked only using clay pot never in aluminum or stainless steel casserole.

The tea tasted sweet according to Edmund. He got excited at first because matamis daw pala, masarap, kayang-kaya nyang inumin yun. He’s been drinking the dark tea twice a day for several days.

Yesterday, he went back to the Chinese clinic for another round of acupuncture. His appointment was supposed to be at 3 pm. He usually arrives an hour before but because of friday traffic, he arrived at exactly 3 pm. Alas kwatro na daw sya nakapasok.

While waiting for his turn, he saw a guy paid P7,500 for a pack of dried herbal teas. Edmund curiously asked the sales lady what was that for. The woman told him halo-halo. Merong tree barks, roots, and dried ipis too.
Ipis ba kamo? Marami kami nyan dito sa bahay. Gusto nila ako na lang ang supplier nila.

Edmund asked about the tea that was prescribed to him. The woman said “Ay sir, mahal yung sa inyo kasi special yun. Hindi nyo ba nakita, mamahalin yung ibinigay sa inyo”.

E—–“Ano ba yun? Parang mga tuyong barks, herbal?”
Woman—–“Hindi sir, mahal yun, mga centipede. Meron pang mga scorpio”.

Whaarrrrrk!!!!

A—–“Oh my God! Wag mo ng inumin yan”.
E—–“Hindi, itutuloy ko, iinumin ko pa. Matamis naman pero mabaho lang”.
A—–“Hanggang kailan ba yun?”
E—–“Tila hanggang bukas na lang”.

E—–“Tart, gusto mong tingnan?”
A—–“Ayoko”.
E—–“Tingnan mo lang para makita mo kung ano’ng nakalagay”.
A—–“Ayoko nga, baka mahimatay pa ako”.