Many years ago, I read an article on relationships. Written by a Harvard psychologist, the author said that the feeling of indifference is worse than anger. I no longer remember who the author is or the details of his article. I just know that anger is a surge of emotions that would eventually pass, in due time, when forgiveness have been asked and/or granted. On the contrary, indifference is not necessarily caused by anger towards another person. It is more of acceptance, recognition, submission and resignation. Acceptance that you two are different in many ways. After living together for decades, you realize that you actually do not know many things about this person and vice versa. Not anyone’s fault. People are complex beings. Recognition that your differences will always be present and would hinder in the way you view and approach your life together. Submission that no matter how much the two of you try to live in peaceful harmony, differences would always strain your relationship because you simply do not have the same perspective of things. You may not be quarreling, but your respective egos can blur your judgement of how things really are. Pride and prejudice. Then comes resignation, because you’ve sadly accepted that these are the realities in your relationship, no effort is necessary to change it for the better because it is what it is. Useless to dwell on it or to try to change it because it will always be constant in the relationship. We hear people say I give-up. That is one example of resignation. One no longer sees an improvement that’s why next is indifference. You just go about your own simple life. You lose your sensitivity. Your perspective of things change too. It’s just live and let live.
A middle school teacher of mine said that indifference is the opposite of love beause indifference means walang pakialam while synonym for love is charity.
You are right Joey, Indifference could be a prelude to falling out of love.
This is true. Indifference in a relationship means the end point of everything, a resignation or a saturation point. People in this state have gone through different emotional stages that whatever comes their way will not affect or bother them. Namanhid na. Generally speaking, ito young emotion na nakakabahala kasi wala ng pakialam. Maraming Pilipino na ang narating na ang stage na ito pagdating sa estado ng bansa. Sa relationship naman, either you sink or swim, it wouldn’t really matter to the person.
True Sophia, a feeling of indifference is similar to a walang pakialam stage.
Sometimes, even after decades of being MARRIED TO EACH OTHER, when u have reached that point of NO RETURN called INDIFFERENCE, the LONG YEARS of BEING TOGETHER won’t even mean a thing…
WALA NA.. TAPOS KA NA sa part of ALWAYS BEING THERE for ur partner.. U have reached the point where NO MATTER WHAT HE DOES or DOESN’T DO, IT WON’T AFFECT U ANYMORE…
U go and seek out COMFORT and LOVE from ur children, becoz they’re the CLOSEST to u and they are the ones who are MORE SENSITIVE to ur feelings and needs.. They will, in turn, share their time with u, making PRECIOUS MEMORIES which ur partner can’t, or won’t, share with u..
And then, YOU JUST WON’T CARE ANYMORE abt ur partner.. Your WORLD now REVOLVES around ur CHILDREN — their simple needs and wants, u ask abt their aspirations and their plans for their future, and their HAPPINESS becomes ur OWN HAPPINESS…
Your LIFE is now ALL ABOUT YOUR CHILDREN, and they make u REALIZE that ur children will be YOUR GREATEST and MOST PRECIOUS TREASURES for as long as u live… 😉
Stay Happy, Ms Annie.. God bless u always… 🙂
Thank you Pam for always wishing me well.