I am beginning to know the wives of some of Edmund’s golf mates. I see them at birthdays, weddings, baptism and other gatherings. They’re all nice.
Since we have something in common, being wives of golfers, one nice lady suggested that we call ourselves GOLF WIVES.
When I saw the message thru Viber, I was sitting in the traffic somewhere along Cainta’s Floodway. I was in a hurry to get home and trying to beat the impending heavy downpour. I was restless, feeling the need to “teacher, may I go out”, tired, exhausted, and really anxious to reach home.
For lack of anything to do inside the van, I started tinkering with my cellphone. I’ve read all the new messages. I’ve looked at the front page of Oh My Buhay, I’ve erased some of the photos to free up some phone memories.
I couldn’t read while on the move or else a severe migraine would set it. For lack of anything else to do, I kept on looking at my phone. I saw the Viber icon and there was a number 2 on it. I pressed it and there was the message from a very nice lady, the wife of Edmund’s friend.
She suggested to call our group Golf Wives.
My blood shot up and nagsalubong bigla ang kilay ko. I couldn’t believe what I just read. To some maybe there was nothing wrong being referred to as a golf wife. To me, that’s an insult. That’s being relegated to a lower position. I responded by saying that I am not a mere golf wife. I knew it was just an innocent suggestion and maybe she wouldn’t understand why I was vehemently against it.
First of all, I do not see the need or purpose to label our group just because our husbands play golf together. I do not need to specifically identify myself as a golf wife only because my husband is a golfer. I don’t play mahjong. But what if I am an avid mahjong player? Shall we refer to Edmund and the husbands of my ka-mahjong, the mahjong husbands? I don’t think Edmund would be pleased and proud.
In my opinion, to be called a golf wife is to be consigned to an inferior position. I am not inferior to him. Nor my husband is inferior to me. We are equals.
Golf wife? What’s next, caddie nya ‘ko? Escusez moi!
I wish I could ‘like’ this a thousand times. Ridiculous to base your identity on your spouse (nor their interest – do you even play/enjoy golf?!) . You’re not one-dimensional and while your spouse is a big part of your life, they does not define you. I hope other people will read this post and make them reconsider what their words mean.