How do you measure love? How do you know that you still love your spouse? And how does one measure the intensity?
(image from oprah.com)
Is it when he makes you happy by always being there for you, doing and following your every whim? Is it when he brings you on a grand vacation with a fat shopping money to boot? You feel you love him so dearly when he sits by your side and massage your head when you’re sick. He makes you proud because he looks handsome and is successful. When everything is doing well with you and your spouse, it’s very easy to say i love you or i love you too. And you tell yourself with a smile on your lips, of course, I do love my husband. Very much!
How about when he doesn’t have money? Love will fly out of the window. How about when he has gotten older and has lost his teeth? When sex is left with an appeal to just go to sleep. How about the times he doesn’t smell good and is irritating? Do we hear the love you and love you too?
You’re in love with your wife because she’s a Miss Universe quality, pang billboard ang beauty. You proudly posted her pang Boracay photo wearing a two piece bikini with a caption “I love you so much honeybee eggie pie I am so proud of you”. Kung pang blackboard ang kapangitan nya, do you post her photos on FB to profess your forever love?
Her cooking is the best, ang puti ng polo mo because ibinababad nya magdamag sa Tide, your house is tidy and orderly. Ang sarap ng breakfast mo, you never failed to say I love you dear, bacon na lang. Pang kasambahay material ang wife mo, magaling ng magluto, magaling pang magplantsa. Every morning you feel grateful that you married her. You take a deep breath and tell yourself, mahal na mahal ko ang asawa ko. Very very much. You love her because she’s such a darling. Cleans well, cooks well, gyrates well, earns well too.
I think most relationships between a man and a woman is a comfort love. It is conditional. It is based on life’s comforts. Being comfortable with each other, being happy. Doing enjoyable things together. It’s not just loving, it’s liking the kind of lifestyle the two of you are living together.
You feel you love him/her because you like the kind of life the two of you have together. How about when things are not going well? You don’t like your situation, you don’t enjoy the lifestyle. There’s crisis and there’s no more enjoyment. How about when either one (or both) made grievous mistakes? There’s hurt, anger.
Would you still love him/her despite what he/she did? Do you still love your spouse dearly despite the numerous disappointments in your life together?
So how do you measure your love? I think it is when there’s crisis in your midst that true love shines. It is when things are going the wrong direction and yet the two of you still hold on to each other to try to steer your life together to the right path. It is when it’s so easy to walk away and yet you choose to stay and be strong for each other. It is when the cloud is so gloomy and yet you still manage to find sunshine as long as you’re together.
