E———-“Wala pa akong isusuot sa Tuesday”.
Tuesday’s party is smart casual. We want our guests to come in comfortable clothes so that they would feel more at ease and relax. Requiring guests to come in business or semi formal attire is a large imposition.
Guests may come in their casual clothes. Since we are the hosts, then we would be in a little bit formal clothes. As usual, I am wearing a short dress. Which one? I don’t know yet. Mamaya, I will check my closet and try on a few dresses.
I am not at all confident that I would find something suitable. Why? Tyan, Tyan at tyan na naman!
I will just pin “hindi po ako buntis” on my left chest.
I actually discovered a trick, more like an optical illusion that would make my waist look smaller than my breasts. Or to put it the other way, I thought of a great idea that would surely make my boobsies look much bigger than my bewang.
I got my idea when watching the evening news. One of the newscasters has a body like Barbie. Her chests take prominence. Her tiny waist looks tinier because it’s overpowered by the size of her breasts.
I can’t make my waist smaller. Kain ng kain, walang exercise, ayaw magpa liposuction, ayaw mag-diet. However, it’s easier to make my boobs bigger so that my waist would look smaller even if it’s not. Do you follow me? See the optical illusion thing?
Big stomach + flat breasts = bigger stomach
Big stomach + big breasts = balanced body frame
Big stomach + bigger breasts = smaller waist (optical illusion)
Edmund caught me watching the news, with the newscaster on screen…
E——-“Sumisikat yan sa golf course, ang laki daw ng su___ (Oops censored).
I will rephrase his sentence:
“Sumisikat yan sa golf course, ang liit daw ng bewang”.
See? Since I couldn’t do anything to make my waist shrink, I will just expand my breasts. And it’s very easy to do.
1. I will buy a very big bra and put some throw pillows in it or stuff toys.
2. I can slip in avocado. Lanzones is more advisable. Pag na traffic ako, meron an akong emergency food. At the party, I can offer it to the other guests. Gusto mong lanzones?
2. To make it feel more natural, I can also put water balloons. However, since they could burst, I will borrow our car’s front bumper sensor / alarm to warn me of anyone coming too close or trying to pindot my giant balloons.
Will try on clothes now…
