If your spouse made a huge money mistake

A young husband mentioned to me that he and his wife have been constantly fighting because of money. They had failed investments. Naturally, there would be tensions. Unfortunately, this affected their love and respect for each other and the situation strained their relationship. The wife is blaming the husband and always reminding him that they lost their money because of his stupidity.

About 20 years ago, I was enticed by a group of friends and business acquaintances to invest in a new bank. Ako naman na wala namang kaalam-alam sa pagpapatakbo ng banko, sige sama ako. Sama-sama lang ako, blindly.

There were information, figures, projections, etc. provided to us and we just went on with it. Ang sabi kasi “a bank’s failure would only happen because of mismanagement”. It never occurred to me that one day I would lose my lifetime savings na kakapiranggot naman and also properties I acquired thru installments.

One day, bang barangbang. Everything that was promised to us, claimed, and all didn’t happen. When I asked those who made the projections of 5 years return of investment, hindi daw nila sinabi yun. Ang nakakahiya pa, inaya ko pa yung neighbor namin na heneral and a friend’s father to buy bank shares too. Baka na-stress din sila eh matatanda na. Nakakahiya talaga.

To cut the long story short, I lost a lot. Idinamay ko pa asawa ko. Pati sya nawala ang golf share nya and some money too.

I cried for two years, early morning, before going to bed, middle of the day. It was like doomsday. I thought I would be bankrupt. I felt bad because I felt I was left alone. Feeling ko para akong tangengok na nakatayo sa pampang, inaya ng mga magagaling na sumakay sa banka. Sabi ko hindi ako marunong lumangoy, but they assured me, hinde, kami bahala sa’yo.
Tapos paglingon ko, ako na lang ang nakasakay sa banka, aanud-anod sa karagatan. Hindi nila kasalanan, kasalanan ko kasi tatanga-tanga ako. Hindi naman pala ako marunong lumangoy eh ang lakas ng loob ko.

All those time, I blamed myself for my ignorance. The big difference was that I had a very supportive, kind and understanding husband. Not even once did he blame me for my bad decisions. Not even once did he say kasi ikaw! kasi ikaw! He never called me ang boba mo kasi. Every time he saw me crying, he would just say “hayaan mo na yun sweetheart, okay naman tayo”. He was of course nanghihinayang sa pera pero we just continued to work and tried to put it behind us. Ako, paiyak-iyak pa rin for several more years pero wala ganun talaga. I also did not cut ties with the people who ran the bank. We’ve remained good friends. Paminsan-minsan nagkaka-tulungan pa rin. I knew it wasn’t their intention to cause the disappearance of my shares. They didn’t force me to invest. I took the risk and unfortunately I lost. Sayang lang kung magagalit ako sa kanila. My anger would have killed me. My days would be consumed unproductively, thinking of them, hating myself, hindi ako aasenso. I realized that my husband was right. He told me to put it behind me and just focus on the present. We turned out okay.