Land of the Free & Bebe Bolate

America aptly deserves the title ‘LAND OF THE FREE”. They are able to live as they please, at least in terms of personal fashion preferences. They walk around almost half-naked, they wear short shorts showing corrugated thighs from cellulites, they wear bikini tank tops to the mall with their protruding bellies. They tinker with their bodies as if they have a dozen. They color their hair violet, red or yellow.

They cover their faces with colorful tatoos, they wear flip flops on their wedding day.

They wear one-inch long plastic nails and false eye lashes. They just do as they please. Some men, even women, shave their heads or half-their heads with the other half in ponytail. No one looks or stares at them. No one ostracizes them, no one bothers to whisper and talk-about how ugly their legs are.

Society accepts and understands that a lot of people have weight problems.

Here in the Philippines, we are perfectionists. “Walang karapatang mag-shorts”.
“Ay bakit violet ang hair nya?” “Puro bilbil pero hapit ang suot…”. “Ang lakas ng loob mag bikini, lawlaw na ang dede hanggang bewang”. “Ay, puro kulubot na naka bathing suit pa, kapal muks”.

For a month, I didn’t even have to wear make-up, I didn’t even have to worry if my step-in matches my shorts or my blouse. No one cares about my looks. Not one asked me if I colored my hair brown. Edmund washed the beige cotton dress Julienne gave me. It shrank a bit, instead of being mini, it has become a blouse. I still wore it while I was in the US, no one bothered to ask why my dress was shorter than my kamison. I didn’t even see a single soul staring at my hemline. I have seen some women with their panties showing and wala lang. So I went out with my very short dress and who cared if my under wear also peeped.

Oh no, not when one is in Manila. Kung hindi ka sundan ng mga maniakis, sundan ka ng mga tianak o mga bi-ik.
Subukan mo kulayan ang buhok mo ng rainbow colors and the first thing you would hear is “saan perya ka magma-magic?”
Saang parlor ka nag pa color? “OO, pinatay ko na yung beautician”.

I was in the US for a month and not one person minded the size of my stomach. Not one commented or asked if I were infanticipating.
Three days after I arrived in Manila and first day I interacted with people outside of my family, someone already said :Ay buntis pala kayo!” Eh siguro na nga. I have been eating manggang hilaw and alamang lately. Edmund brought home some green mangoes from Southwoods Golf and Country Club. He was playing golf when he saw this mango tree hitik-na-hitik sa bunga, inabot lang nya yung mga bunga, halos malaglag na.

Maybe that’s the reason why my stomach keeps getting bigger….afterall I may really be pregnant!
O Waw ohaw, haw kod datbe? Es dat a menopos bebe? Baka nga meron akong bebe…——– mga bebe bolate.