Magkano Ka?

I’ve heard this question many times before when I was still living in Binangonan, nung panahon ng kopong-kopong. This was a common joke among my schoolmates. For them, biro lang. I don’t remember if I ever used the same joke. Tila hindi.

Last night, my daughter told me about pretty actress Anne Curtis’s slapping adventures. She slapped daw John Lloyd Cruz, and some other people. According to the reports, she also screamed and told Phoemela Baranda, “kaya kitang bilhin”, or “kaya ko kayong lahat bilhin” or something to that effect. Or maybe she said it in English.

That reminded me of my days in Binangonan. “Magkano ka ba?” “Baka bilhin kita dyan”. “Kaya kitang bilhin”, Tsupii! are synonymous to each other. I’ve heard some of my schoolmates say this to others. Kala nila biro lang yun. Buti na lang no one dared ask me that question.

I think there are two kinds of people who utter this words.
1. Those with no money. Fantasy nila ito, ego trip, feeling rich and powerful. They imagine sila si Donya Pukekay at si Don Tetelaok na nakapamewang at nagyayabang, “Walisin yang mga yan, bilhin mo at itapon sa kabilang baryo”. Yan yung mga walang pera talaga. Ang problema, kung makamtan nila ang tagumpay, yayabang sila kasi feel na feel nila na mayaman na sila.

2. Those who have achieved a certain degree of success in their lives. Kaya lang, yung mga pera nila, hindi naka tago sa bulsa, Duon napunta sa mga utak nila. Their money and success are probably overflowing that some went up to their heads, cluttered and infected their brain cells.

I believe that when people say those things, they really meant it, except they disguised it as a joke. According to a psychologist who guested on Oprah Winfrey’s show, jokes are actually in the mind of the person, it comes out through his mouth, kunwari lang joke pero it’s in his consciousness.

Kung naka drugs, maybe there’s a possibility that the person didn’t know what he/she was doing while under the influence of illegal drugs or substance.

BUT I believe that drunk people know what they’re doing or saying. The thoughts and words are already in their consciousness except they keep it in their minds.
Liquor or alcohol removes a person’s inhibitions and enables the person to blurt out what’s deep inside his heart and mind. Dito na lumalabas yung mga saloobin nila. Yung mga kinikimkim nila or what they think of.

I don’t know how I would re-act if someone says kaya nya akong bilhin, or magkano ako.
How does one put a tag price on a person? If literally, por kilo ba ako?
Even the call girls, they are also not for sale. Hindi rin nila binebenta ang katawan nila. For rent lang, retail. Ang dede nila para pindut-pindutin ng isa or dalawang oras. Yung mga call boys, ganun din, for rent lang din ang kanilang ABS and 6 packs and birdies. But you cannot say “magkano ka, bilhin kita”. Dapat, how much is your rental per hour, pwede discount kasi 4 hours naman”. Bilhin kita means buying the person as a whole- literally and figuratively, including his/her dignity.

Several years ago, Mazda Makati had a client from Laguna. He bought a Mazda 3 then after a week, he wanted to exchange it with a different color. Eto na, start ng problema namin. Syempre hindi na pwedeng palitan kaya kung anu-ano na ang reklamo. May konti daw gasgas na sya lang naman ang nakakakita. Lahat na ng complain.
Probably out of his desperation, he said “Kaya ko kayong bilhin lahat, magkano ba kayo”.

I wasn’t there, I only found out a few days later. Syempre nagulat ako but I didn’t have any violent reaction. Paano naman nya kami bibilhin eh yung kotse nya 5 years to pay. Kung bibilhin nya kami lahat, ilang libong taon kaya sya maghuhulog?

Dapat taasan ang pader at gate sa paligid ng Mandaluyong para hindi makalabas yung mga may kuliling.