Mam nasaan ang Singit Mo?

When I was younger I never dared utter that un-glamorous Tagalog word SINGIT. I considered it wah-poise and it sounded vulgar to me. The only person who could get away with having that word in her regular vocabulary was my mama. .
While I take a bath, my mother would stand behind the door and shout out loud for all the neighbors to hear “‘niieee, sabunin mong maige ang singit mo!” Even if I was still young, every time she did that, I melt in embarrassment. But that was my mother. She thinks she has the right to say anything she wants and to whomever she wants. Even to me!

And she was never contented, laging duda. As soon as I got out of the bathroom, she would do some exit interview like a dutiful quality control supervisor (QCS)— “O, sinabun mo bang mabuti ang mga singit-singitan mo?”
And what would I say? Of course I would answer OPO. Or else she would again act like a QCS. Back job… “Bumalik ka at sabunin mong mabuti ang singit mo”.

I haven’t heard of that word since my mother’s time, till today, this afternoon at the Cardinal Santos Hospital.

Since yesterday morning, the lower left quadrant of my abdomen hurts. The intensity of the pain varies. And the throbbing pain is intermittent. This morning was worse than yesterday. I had difficulty walking straight.

I went to the clinic of Dr. Palafox at 3:30 pm not expecting him to be in his clinic. My hope was to see his secretary Chat so she could refer me to a specialist for this portion of the body. Dr. Palafox is a cardiologist and my puson is far from my heart.

Gone were the patients and pharmaceutical reps waiting outside his clinic. But luckily, Chat was still there. When I told her I didn’t intend to see Doc Palafox and I just wanted her to refer me to a good doctor. She said “Ay, patingnan mo na rin ke Doc, ipakapa mo”.
A—-“Ipakapa? Anong makakapa nya dito eh puro taba?”
Chat—–“Maski na mam..”
She led me to the doctor’s room. There were three patients still with him.
Chat said “Mam, humiga ka i-ecg kita”.
A—–“Chat, masakit ang puson ko, hindi ako magpapa-ecg. Malayo ito sa heart”.
Chat—–“Mabuti na ma-check ka”.
Before I knew it she unzipped my dress “Higa mam”.
Sige na nga!

Oh well, Doc Palafox took my hear beat, my BP (okay naman daw) and he asked where the pain was.
He used his stethoscope to listen to my bulates.
It felt nostalgic, bigla kong naalala nung buntis ako, pinapakinggan nung ob gyne yung tyan ko, yung heartbeat ng baby ko.

Doc Palafox—-“Maingay ang tyan mo. Ang lakas ng tunog”.
Me—-“Hah?”
I didn’t know what to say. Shall I ask bulate ba yan? Buntis ba ako?”
Dyos ko kung buntis ako paano ko naman ipapaliwanang sa asawa ko yan? Kailangan saksakan ko muna sya ng pampakalma para hindi manginig sa galit.

Baka sa mga kinain ko. Mahilig ako sa street food baka may bubuwit na lumalaki sa loob”.

Doc Palafox—–“Maingay, kumukulo sa loob. Mahangin”.
Me—-Doc baka uu na bumara?

He sent me to the X-ray to have it checked, so he could see my large intestines.

Me—–“Bukas na lang ng umaga Doc, may appointment pa ako, alas kwatro na”.
Doc—-“Ngayon na, para makita ko agad”.

I moved my appointment to tomorrow. Off I went to the X-ray department.
I paid Php 782 and waited. While waiting a young X-ray guy wearing all white including his shoes asked me some questions. “Bakit mam magpapa-xray?”
A—“Merong pain dito”.
Guy—“For verification, ang full name mo ay Annie Tan Yee, birthday….
Wala namang mga opera sa katawan?”
A—–“Gall stone tinanggal”.
Guy—“Sige mam, intay na lang. Bakit ka na nga ba magpapa-xray?”

Ang bata pa nito may alzheimer’s na.
—
I was just here on April 30 when I had my right knee x-rayed. Eto na naman ako puno na ako ng radiation.

I noticed there were a lot of technicians in that tiny room. I could hear at least 3 gays engaged in friendly banter with the other guys.
Gay 1——“Color blue ba ang utot mo?”
Gay people are naturally funny although I didn’t laugh, I just wondered kung meron bang asul na utot.

I was asked to wear a robe and to remove my necklace. I told the girl that tyan ko ang i-e-xray hindi leeg ko.

They made me stand up at first facing some kind of camera. The first time was a reject, the senior technician told the two or three young guys to move the camera or x-ray machine lower. I told them, my pain is on the lower portion eh bakit dibdib ko ang ine-exray nila.

Next position was laying down, face up. They moved the bed under the x-ray machine. I felt so dizzy. Umikot ang tingin ko.
There were three of them around me.
I closed my eyes.
Guy 2 wearing all white, could be a doctor—–“Ang singit, ang singit, mam, mam, nasaan ang singit mo? Nasan’ ang singit mo?”

Guy 3 wearing blue, could be a technician, siguro naman hindi galing sa Ford EDSA na technician (corny)……
“Mam, kakapain ko lang ang buto mo. Pwede bang kapain ang buto mo dito?”
Me—–“Oo, wag lang ang singit ko”.