Marriage doesn’t mean being always together 24/7 although there are couples who are by design and circumstance spend days and night together. Actually, in marriage, quality time is spending a lot of time. If you only go out on weekends to eat in a restaurant, you cannot claim that it’s quality time. That’s only an excuse not to spend time together. If you’re happy just by being physically together for a few hours in a week, and eating at a restaurant while both of you are on your respective cellphones looking at other people’s lives and not focusing on your life together, that is not quality time. You obviously don’t enjoy being together. You are not connecting to each other. You are just in front of each other for the sake of marriage but you are actually no longer enjoying each other’s company.
Edmund and I went to a Korean BBQ restaurant along Spring Mountain Road.
I was observing a young couple maybe in their mid 30s. Based on their looks, they must be of Japanese descent and they also look well-off. I know they’re a couple because they held hands while walking to the table.
They waited for a few minutes for a table, after they sat down, both of them were on their respective phones. The waitress came and got their order. They seemed to be not fighting because they smiled at each other while deciding on what to order. While waiting for the food, they were busy doing their own thing— phone. While eating, the guy’s one hand was on his phone, while the girl also occasionally lifted to look at her phone.
If they continue doing this thing, sooner than later they would grow apart and become strangers to each other. Hindi na sila magiging close. They would feel awkward sitting in front of each other without having to touch their phones. They will run out of things to say to one another. And whatever topic they would talk about would no longer be interesting. Tinkering with your phones while you are with your boyfriend, girlfriend or spouse means you are not interested to be together.
You’d rather stay connected to your friends outside of your relationship. If every ten seconds you both glance at your phones, you are better off sitting in a corner to use your phone. You don’t have to be in a restaurant to spend money. This is the straight road to marital unhappiness.
