I feel happier on Friday and Saturday compared to my mini-melancholy last Thursday. Luming said it maybe because of age, a.k.a. OLD AGE. Indeed, as our bodies deteriorate and so are the many faculties attached to it– nervous system, brain activities, etc.
I have already accepted and realized that indeed I am no longer young. And with the number of people dropping dead here and there for no apparent reason, I have already appreciated that even if I now very much qualify into the “old, fat and ugly” mold, at least I am still here on earth, spending time with my co-humans for whatever purpose.
Today is a bit rainy and here I am again, pa-emote-emote, I just feel a little down. I recited “I Believe in God….” the moment I realized I was already awake, before I even opened my eyes.” Praying is my respite and comfort. I am too lazy to recite the 5 mysteries of the Holy Rosary but I would like to believe that the Mother of God doesn’t take that against me. I feel more connected to Divinity when I say little, short prayers that come from my heart rather than the “Pray 1,000 Holy Rosary today and your wish would be granted” kind of thing. That wouldn’t be praying at all, that would be the amazing race or crazy mechanical recitations that has no real meaning.
Before I forget, OMB reader N. Mariveles advised me to meditate and drink a glass of warm water. Tamang-tama because I bought a pack of Terragon leaves yesterday. I will put some in warm water.
What is meditation? Speaking to God with eyes closed? Speaking to yourself? Or just having some quiet moments by yourself and with yourself? Or just trying to relax while sitting still and quiet for a few minutes not thinking of anything?
While in the plane flying from SFO to Manila, after I woke-up feeling a little bit better but with a fever, I opened my windows and saw these beautiful cloud formations. It reminded me of my secret hiding place high above the clouds. For a few minutes I started feeling like I was actually there in my secret place.
When I am feeling so down and out, I go to my secret safe place when no one could ever reach nor harm me. I imagine it to be a tiny place that’s just big enough for me to lay down or sit. It’s overlooking the clouds with the earth down there below.
I have a white kumot there that I wrap around myself to give me comfort. That white cloth is actually from God’s palda. I imagine that I, a tiny speck on this universe, is holding-on to God’s embrace. I would be sitting there, crying my heart out and staring at the clouds. And for just a few minutes, I would feel alright and assured that everything would be fine.
Hi Ms. Annie, welcome back po 🙂 ang tagal ko din pong di nabasa ung site nyo na busy po kasi sa office.
Thank you po for sharing this story. Iam one of the reader na kakakakrelate po sa pinagdadaanan nyo. while reading this I felt something in my heart like an affirmation that God is assuring me that everything will be fine :).
I am going home to see a doctor dyan po sa Philippines and also to see my mom and hug her because I know she is my comfort, her embrace her voice that give me strenght.
As I said before I am part of Couples for Christ-SFC community we are tought to practice atleast 15 mins prayer.
Your right it is nice to be quite and have your time alone talking to God. I started the prayer with praise and worship, I sing with my heart to reach my soul. They said kasi if you praise and worship God through singing it is like praying twice at the same time.
I listened to Hillsong and other CFC music.
I hope and pray that God extend his healing hand and give the mantle of protection and thousand of angels to guide you.
God bless po
Best regards,
Rhuth
Thank you Rhuth. God Bless you too.
Dear Rhuth,
Why are you visiting a doctor? For regular check up or did you suspect that something is wrong? Message me when you are in Manila.
Warm regards