Patty and I are not relatives although we share the same surname. Tan is her married name. Tan is my maiden name. There are millions of Tans all over the world.
I met Patty thru my son when he was still in high school. He invited Patty’s daughter Mela, to be his junior ball’s partner. In deference, I gave Patty a call, introduced myself as the mom of Marvin. Syempre kailangan panatag ang kalooban nya before allowing her daughter to go to the school dance with my son.
She was easy to talk with. She invited me to have an afternoon tea in EDSA Shangri-La Hotel at the Summer Palace on the second floor. We found some common friends. My impression of her was all good. I thought the two of us could go along well. We share the same travel lifestyle. It’s not difficult to discuss travel experiences with her. She’s been to more places and more restaurants than me.
She and daughter Mela attended our 25th wedding anniversary.
My son and her daughter Mela started dating and I was thinking maybe Patty was not worrying too much because at least she knows who Marvin’s parents are, where we live, what we do. Syempre when your daughter or son is dating someone, dapat kilala mo kung anong klaseng tao ang pamilya nila. Mahirap na kasi baka their relationship become serious, magkasubuan, eh mabuti na yung you know the risks.
I am not the kind of person who will go out of my way to make friends with the parents of my children’s dates, boyfriend or girlfriend. Baka sabihin nagsisipsip ako or baka isipin gusto ko na sila. Nung araw, when Edmund and I were dating, wala namang regalo sa akin ang mother nya and wala rin namang regalo kay Edmund ang mama ko.
Mid 2016, a few weeks or two months after our family discovered what my son got himself into, I got a call from Patty. She was very sympathetic and to my surprise, she knew what was going on long before Edmund and I found out about it. She claimed one time my son was at their house visiting her daughter, Patty talked to my son about his financial transactions with his friends. She said she was in a similar situation a few years ago. I wished Patty had told us what my son was into as soon as she found out.
I was surprised when Patty shared with me that she also experienced the same big problem before. I don’t know if it was any consolation knowing that some people who are much older, more experienced, savvier than my son, found themselves duped, conned, what more my son who was only 24 at that time.
Last year, we learned that Patty was diagnosed with cancer of the breast but we didn’t know how serious. I secretly hoped and prayed for her recovery. Sana naagapan pa.
My son and her daughter stopped dating because we booted my son out of Manila to prevent him from getting into this ridiculous too-good-to-be-true transactions that turned to be catastrophic. The distance took a toll on their relationship. But personally I always believed that distance is not an issue between two people who are determined to keep their relationship in good stead. Pareho pa silang immamture.
When I went back to Manila in February, Patty invited me to have lunch with her at the Shang Palace, Shangri-la Makati. Her daughter Mela later joined us.
Patty looked thinner but otherwise she still looked girlish. She told me she was going to have an operation within that week.
A few nights ago, my daughter called me while she was still in New York. Her voice sounded sad. She told me the mom of Mela passed away. Patty died.
Even if Patty and I were not relatives, nakakalungkot that she passed away this soon. I think she was only 58 or 59. Too young.
Ibig sabihin the breast cancer that afflicted her was aggressive. They only discovered it less than a year ago.
Then I thought of Mela, how she’s coping. The love of her mom will forever live in her heart. May the memory of her mom give Mela the same feelings of love and comfort when her mommy was still alive.
With heartfelt sympathy.
