Pamanhikan

When Oyen informed us that Derrick would come to our house with his parents immediately after the ghost month, Edmund became uneasy.  He requested that it be as casual or as informal as possible. Sa kitchen na lang daw. And instead of dinner, merienda na lang.

My husband was anxious for  a few days leading to the pamanhikan. He even asked me “pwede ba akong mag-tsinelas na lang?’ I said NO.

That morning, over breakfast, I reassured him and myself “Tart, blessing na rin kasi mababait naman ang pamilya nila, maayos naman sila. At least alam natin kung anong mga ginagawa nila, hindi yung, kung saan galing. At saka malapit lang ang bahay nila, mahirap kung tiga Cavite, Paranaque, or Novaliches, na malayo sa atin. Okay na yun. Mabait naman sila.

Both of us have concerns, I guess every parent feels that way when their daughter / or son is getting married. It’s a bizarre kind of feeling. My Kuya Lito texted me “huwag kang masyadong maging emotional”.

I prepared merienda. I also went to Farmers Market that morning to buy some fresh flowers. I always do that naman when I have the time and energy, and most especially when we have guests.

Stargazers are very fragrant.

White Malaysian mums range from P80 per bunch. I bought three bunches for P220.

I also bought several stems of white orchids.

Vongole with clams, scallops, and shrimps

Food and Beverage Department

My mom would always get mad because she was losing spoons, forks, plato, even with her name engraved on each one of them. One time she went to the house of one of the drivers and retrieved a few pieces of fork. One time she attended a birthday party in one of the islands and saw a spoon with her name engraved on it. My cutlery are kulang-kulang na rin. I keep on buying, I keep on losing. I bought this set from Marseille but they are made in Italy.

I didn’t know what to serve them. I ordered fried chicken and fish tacos from Chubby Chicken, a restaurant owned by Wendell Habaluyas and his wife Portia. Their chicken was recently cited as one of the top ten fried chickens in Manila.

I have a new chicken. I bought it from Rockwell for P2,250. When Edmund saw the tag price, sabi nya “ang mahal pala nyan”.

More chickens. I bought this chicken table runner from the Lenox store in Bicester Village.

I bought two and a half kilos of seedless dalandan, squeezed them, boiled syrup, voila, the most delicious dalandan juice in the world.

It was more of a formal introduction because Edmund hasn’t met Derrick’s parents despite the fact that our daughter and their son have been dating for 5 years. A few times they extended an invitation to the father’s birthday party but my husband couldn’t imagine himself attending a stranger’s birthday party. Once, I acceded and attended his birthday party at their residence in San Juan. I discovered that we have a lot of common friends, Serge and Margie Ortiz-Luis, Donald and Ophie Dee, Freddie Yao, and many others in the business community. I’ve known Donald and Fred for 25 years and I knew that they would not make friends or associate themselves with people of dubious character. Derrick’s dad is a very close friend of these two respectable guys kaya panatag na rin ang loob ko.

We met again at the wake of Donald Dee last year and the first thing that Derrick’s mom said was something like ayusin na namin yung dalawa kasi matagal na… or something like that. She was suggesting that we marry off the two. I wasn’t able to respond because someone came to greet me so I got distracted. But in situations like that, what do I say? I think she really was waiting for that moment to speak to me about Oyen and her son. Our children are of age. They are adults and both have jobs. They can get married anytime they want to and manage on their own, without the parents’ intercession. That was my thought. In my mind, instead of asking me, it’s better that she asks her son if he is ready to get married.

In some instances, parents of the boy and the parents of the girl become close friends when their kids have been dating for a long time. Yung iba they eat out together, attend common family gatherings, para na silang one family talaga. Yung iba they send each other gifts. Not in our case. Edmund and I kept our distance, not by design, maybe by circumstance.

Me, I didn’t send them gifts kasi feeling ko, babae ang akin. Medyo conservative ng konti ang approach namin ni Edmund. Kasi baka isipin nililigawan ko sila. I didn’t want them to think that I was pursuing their son. It’s up to my daughter to like their son. He should pursue my daughter and not me pursuing them.

The parents of the bride, ready and waiting for their future balaes, with Stella.

The parents of Derrick came to our house in the afternoon of September 1 to personally ask Oyen’s hand in marriage. It was very casual. It was more of a formal introduction because they haven’t met Edmund.

Future balaes and son-in-law

The dad is very jolly and has great charisma.  It’s difficult not to feel at ease with him. He got my husband’s loob right away. He and Edmund move in the same circle because both play golf although their handicaps are far apart. Hahaha.
He said the right words when he asked Edmund “mag-golf naman tayo minsan. Ano ba ang handicap mo? Five? Ako 31.” He is so funny.

It was their wedding anniversary on September 1 and they invited us to join them for dinner on that same evening with their children and grandkids. Edmund was put on the spot and he couldn’t say no. Hahahaha. Hindi sya makatanggi. Hindi makapag-pakipot.

Both parents are good looking, slim and tall. I told Oyen, “naku anak buti nalang matatangkad sila at mapapayat, kasi ayaw ng daddy sa mataba.” (Laughs).

After our merienda and kwentuhan, before they left the dining table, the parents said: “We are asking Juls’ hand in marriage”. The only response from me was “I hope she will be in good hands”. Derrick was quick to answer “yes, yes tita, of course, she will be in good hands”.