Pizza and Masahistas

February 26, 2019

I went to the office of one of the biggest land developers in the country. I texted him when I was already on my way to his office. When he found out that I was already in his office, he called and scolded me by not letting him know in advance that I would drop by his office. He said why the heck was I talking to ordinary people (referring to his employees) and not directly to him. He said I am a VIP daw kaya I should just speak to him so he could personally instruct his people. He was in Makati and as soon as he found out that I was in his office, he ran, rode. Also, a common friend of ours called him, “Hoy nasa opisina mo si Annie, asikasuhin mo agad”.
Once in a while, I feel special.

Btw, I am not buying any of his properties. I was in his office for a different purpose, also related to his development, but not to purchase.

He sent out for pizza, salad, etc.

Over lunch, our conversation went from land development, Guido cases, theme parks, opportunist friends of his son, Ateneo graduates who squandered their inheritances, etc.
Our topic veered towards golf. He was recommending a good masahista for Edmund. Magaling daw sa mga sakit ng golfers, yung lower back pain.
Then our conversation became more interesting. Masahista!!!!
Dati mga caddies ang nilalandi ng mga asawa, ngayon naman masahista? Hay nako.

Here’s the tale of three masahistas:

1. Lady doctor is married to a male doctor from the same hospital. They are very sweet and loving to each other. They get home service massages regularly. You know, a day in the hospital could also be tiresome. One mid-day, she decided to go home to rest without telling her husband. She went straight to their bedroom, the door was not locked. Guess what greeted her…. your guess is as good as mine.
Her naked husband was on top of the naked masahista on their matrimonial bed and making pakyu-pakyu each other.
The doctor wife threw her husband out of the house. It’s her house, not his.

2. She and her husband have been married for over 28 years. Their children are all grown-ups and are now living separately with their respective families. Their big house is now an empty nest.
One night, she was awakened by some queer sounds. Parang may kumakaluskos sa sahig. She also heard some moaning. It was pitch dark. She stood up to investigate and to pee. She tripped over her naked husband who was on the floor, on top of who? Their maid.

3. She and husband have a regular masseuse who comes to their house every Wednesday night. She gets an hour of massage and an hour and a half for her husband. She was going to a three-day conference in Bangkok. Little did her husband know, before she left, she hid a mini-camera in their bedroom that could be accessed from her cellphone while she was away. She didn’t finish the conference. She rushed home after she saw the masahista slow dancing, giggling, and humping while naked and standing on their queen bed, while her husband was also giggling and salaciously enjoying watching the pokekak girl.

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My unsolicited advice:
To the wife:  If your husband disrespected your home by effing someone else in your bedroom, on your bed, in your bathroom, never, never, never (Never Enough- Greatest Showman) never have second thoughts. Show no mercy. No forgiveness. Why? Eh kasi napaka cheap naman nung asawa mo. Gusto libreng kwarto at kama. Napaka walang galang sayo, sa bahay nyo pa, sa kwarto nyo pa, sa kama nyo pa. Kaya, sipain mo na.

To the husband:  Oh men, pwede ba ang daming SOGO hotel dyan.