Price of having a driver

I wish parking is easy and driving is hassle free in the metropolis so I won’t be needing a driver. They do make my life easier by driving through traffic and parking right in front of the door, and sometimes they are also helpful, but all these come with a price. First, syempre they are paid well, should be fed well, naka aircon while waiting, sleeping while waiting, and chatting while waiting. They also add to my agitation.

Driver Allan- first day pa lang nya, I told our cook to give him lunch. She came back and told me “Mam, hindi daw sya kumakain ng tilapia”. Ow, that’s a problem because I’ve been going to Binangonan quite often lately and I buy a lot of fresh tilapia and bangus.

He doesn’t know where Ayala, Buendia, Pasong Tamo, etc. are. It’s tiring to be a back seat driver. “Ikanan mo, ikaliwa, diretso lang tapos bandang dulo ikanan mo. Saan ka pupunta, sabi ko kaliwa”. I can’t look at my phone or else, he would go the other way. After five days of driving in and out of our subdivision, he still didn’t know the way. To reach our house, isang diretso from the gate, left then right. He went straight, turn left, right, left, right, and when I looked up, I couldn’t recognize where I was. “Allan, saan ka pupunta?”
Driver Allan———- “Mam, eto ho ang itinuro sa akin ni N na tamang daan”.
Omb——————- “Hello N, ano itong sinasabi ni Allan na itinuro mong tamang daan daw?”
Driver N————– “Mam, wala ho akong itinurong daan sa kanya. Sinabi ko lang naman dito sya dumaan, hindi pala nya naintindihan”.

Omb——————- “Allan, sa Huebes ka na lang uli pumasok, kay Sir ka mag da-drive, kung magustuhan nya ang driving mo, sa kanya ka maa-assign”.
Allan—————- “Ganun po ba mam? Hindi na ho ako papasok”.

This tricycle driver got a rich Chinese girl pregnant. The girl’s parents couldn’t do anything. The father gave them an FX so he could sustain his family. He sold it to pay for his own mother’s hospitalization. His kids stopped schooling because he had no work.
His rich father in law was going to give his wife three million pesos as capitalization for a restaurant but his brother in law objected.

Always happens, when I give the driver a list of our food orders laging merong mali.

When I wrote it down like this, they would order one chicken joy, two palabok and three cheese burgers. One time I sent our former driver Mario to buy
1. pansit bihon guisado
2. Inihaw na liempo
3. Bulalo
4. Fried Tawilis
5. Rice- one order (palayok)
He came back with a lot of balot and asked for more money kasi daw kulang yung pera. Medyo nagtaka nga ako bakit umabot ng dalawang libong piso. When we opened the balots:
We have
one pansit, two orders of liempo, three calderos of bulalo, four trays of tawilis and five palayok of rice. Fiesta for 20 people!

When Edmund saw the list that I made, he blamed me, it’s my fault daw. Kaya ngayon, I write down our orders this way:

Yesterday at the office,
Omb————- “Driver D, pumunta ka dito sa office ko”.
Omb———— “Pumunta ka sa banko, ibigay mo ito sa teller”. Tanungin mo kung magkano ang bank charge para dyan. Intayin mo meron din syang ibibigay sayo na form”.
After 10 minutes
he gave me back my note to the teller
Omb———— “O, magkano daw yung bank charge? Asan yung form?”
Driver D——- “Form?”
Omb———– “Di ba sabi ko tanungin mo kung magkano yung bank charge?”
Driver D—— “Eh… sabi mo ipakita ko yang papel sa teller. Ipinakita ko. Sige ho, babalik ako dun”.

I went to Laguna, Cavite and Tagaytay today.
In Laguna,
Omb————– “Diretso ka lang, pagnakita mo yung BDO dun tayo titigil. Nasa kaliwa”.
I noticed he was looking to the right.
Omb————- “Bakit sa kanan ka nakatingin. nasa kaliwa”.
Driver———- “Oo mam, nasa kanan pala”.
He continued looking to his right.

Along Sta. Rosa Road
Omb————– “Titigil ka dun sa bilihan ng mais”.
Omb————– “Lima nga yung puti at mura (young corn) kahit maliit”.
Omb to driver—– “Gusto mo ba yung Japanese corn para mas malaki?”
Driver———— “Pwede rin. Itinapon ko nga yung isang ibinigay nyo kasi tila hilaw”.

In Cavite,
Omb————- “Mag-exit ka sa Southwoods”.
Driver———- “Southwoods”.
Omb————- “Sucat pa lang ito, magbasa ka kasi”.
Omb————- “May McDonald’s dun sa tapat ng malaking simbahan”.
Omb————- “Wag ka sa exit pumasok, dun o sa “entry”, magbasa ka kasi”.

In Tagaytay,
Omb————– “Pauwi na tayo, sa Sta. Rosa ka dumaan, wag sa Eaton kasi madilim na doon”.
Driver N——— “Sa Eaton mam?”
Omb————– “Sa Sta. Rosa ka dumiretso”.
Driver N——— “Summering na mam”.