A few nights ago, I went inside my daughter’s room. I laid down on her soft bed and stared at the ceiling.
I looked around. She became apologetic, thinking that I was disappointed with the clutter. I said no, that’s okay, the kalats make it looks like a home. That someone actually lives there. And it’s her room, she can kalat it all she wants.
All of a sudden, something hit me. I don’t have a room. I don’t have MY OWN room.
I share mine with Edmund. Not that I don’t like my husband, but it just dawned on me that I have never had my own room. In Binangonan, I shared the room with my parents and my sister. Back in the dorm, I had the room all by myself for the first two years, but after that, I shared rooms with my kababayans, and with my sister. Lagi akong may ka share. Ngayon ko lang na-realize, I never had a room for myself alone. A room that I could call my own in the true sense of the word.
Edmund is a very nice friend and husband. But, I cannot make kalat, he would definitely say something.
In the middle of the night, syempre I cannot play with Plants and Zombies with background music. There are many restrictions. Maybe my husband also feels the same way.
At my age now, I think I would like to have my own private corner. This thought makes me excited. I have spent two nights thinking and playing it in my head. I would like to find a space within our house that I can convert into my own private space. My bathroom kaya? I want to have a studio but it’s too small naman. I want to have a small bed and a small table. A tv perhaps.
A private space where I can just throw my stuff around, na walang magco-comment na mukhang ukay-ukay. Walang magco-comment na bakit ganyan? I can decorate it or draw on the wall for my eyes only.
So far, I haven’t found any suitable space for my oasis. But I would definitely do this soon. I will find a space for myself and for myself alone.
