Tarot Reading, Continuation

I succumbed to years of curiosity. I agreed to pay P300 for a 15 minute session with a Tarot card reader in Robinson’s Galleria.

The trained professional Tarot reader interpreted the 15 cards I picked to give insights evoked by the images in the cards.  From the one word guide printed at the bottom of  each card,  plus bits and pieces of information she extracted from me, including her perception of me she used her intuition to expound her understanding of my inner self.

The first three cards showed that I have tremendous inner strength, creativity, power of mind and independence.

The Tarot reader, Shinette Sanchez, said I am a very intense person, very passionate. That I have self-confidence, I am sure of myself, in control of my life. I am not a follower because I am the creator (not referring to God). “You are the one creating things, you are your own person, you are in that level where you can just play with the butterflies and you would be happy. You don’t depend on anyone, you don’t have a boss. You are the Boss”.  She said I am the creator and the source.    I don’t follow,  I am the guru.

It’s not true that I can just play with butterflies and I would be happy.   I like birds better than butterflies.   Butterflies are short lived.  Birds last longer.

She then opened the remaining 12 cards. If the first three showed my strengths, eto na, the next batch showed my weaknesses and vulnerabilities.

Let’s rotate the photo to see the images better.

There’s a card that showed a woman with eyes closed, screaming.   Do you see her?  Her hands are on the side of her head.   She looks like she’s about to have a nervous breakdown.  Is that me?   Mukha nga.

These are her readings of me based on the images that were on the cards that I picked with my left hand:

1. There’s anger in my heart and it seems like I am ready to fight.     (bottom, center  card).

2. I have a tendency to keep my frustrations and anger inside me.

3.  That I don’t exhibit all my strengths and power so as not to overwhelm others.  I just choose to be  simple but she said I have that surging power within me.

4.  She said I am a loner.

5. I am very lonely and feels so alone.

6.  I don’t socialize much and  I talk less.

When I mentioned to her that I have an online journal where I express some of my thoughts and keep memories,  she said that doesn’t qualify as socializing.  It’s not conversing with other people.  She said that’s talking to myself.

She encouraged me to go out, socialize and mingle with people.    I told her I don’t have barkada.  She told me I would really find it hard to develop new friends at this stage.  She said it’s easier to mingle with old friends.  
Hindi rin ako maka-blend with most of my elementary and high school friends.  Iba wave length.  Malayo.   During gatherings,  I just  smile and not talk.   One time I tried to share with my high school batch mates from Binangonan, Rizal  kung ano’ng nangyari sa Asian Financial Crisis,  wala namang nakinig. Syempre napaka boring naman nun.  Only business people would find that topic relevant. Ngayon,  my topics are about multo, maids, cancer,  divorce,  holdapan, etc.  Personal stuff.  Those are more interesting.

The tarot reader was very perceptive.  Syempre trained sya for that.   I am really aloof.  There was a time in my life when I became very sociable.  I was always attending business gatherings,  talking to people,  meeting new friends,  engaging people in conversations.  Then many things happened in my life that I lost interest in those things.   All of a sudden I began to feel those things were not important in my life.  Those were superficial kind of life.   Hi, hello, how are you?  Do you really care about how I am?  Those are beso-beso with no meaning at all.  Maybe that’s the meaning of socialization.

I started attending less and less business gatherings, meetings, events.  I was elected Vice President of a few business organizations.  Of course the natural progression was to become the next president.  I was not interested.  My heart tells me it’s not something that I search for.  That’s not what would make me happy.  I found neither motivation nor fulfillment  to be one.  It didn’t excite me at all.    I realized hindi naman pala ako true ambisyosa.  What makes me happy is napaka-simple lang pala.

7.  She also said I am a very passionate person and this makes me sad because I am not able to express my passion and emotions.   She said I need an outlet for my strengths, energy, creativity, passion.

8.  She said I am very intense.

9.  There’s  a card with red fruits.   In relation to that,  she said– I am like a ripened  fruit,  ready to drop on the ground,  splatter, share my seeds so that more would grow.

10. I need to express daw my passion and creativity.   She said I am not doing that,  I am holding back.  She said I have a reason which she doesn’t know.

11. She asked if I am happy with my husband.    I said, “generally yes,  but sometimes he does things that  make me unhappy, like when I am saying something and he’s not listening.  I want him to pay attention when I am talking to him, even if what I am saying is trivial, petty or absurd”.

12.  When she opened another card that has an image of a heart and two lovers,  she glanced at me,  then she looked at the card again.

Omb——“Kami yan?  My husband and I?

Reader—-“No”.

She glanced at me again.  There was something about her look that told me, oh oh duda yata sya or kunwari duda.  She said there’s someone who is in love with me.  Who likes me and is waiting, and who is not my husband.  Naku intriga yan.    She was going around the bush and I just cut the chase.  I said “I don’t date, I don’t go out, bahay – office lang ako”.   “I don’t have a boyfriend.  That guy is my husband”.  She said  no again. She sounded very certain that the guy is not my husband. “Meron bang nanliligaw sa’yo? “Kasi meron dito, nag-hihintay lang”.    Sabi ko “nung araw, nung bata pa ako…..  ngayon,  matanda na ako, saka alam mo naman ang mga lalaki….  pagnaka-kita ng mga babae,  biro-biro, hanggang ganun lang”.

Reader——“Nadito sya,  just waiting, he likes you”.

Omb——–“My husband loves me and is kind to me,  I have no reason to look for a boyfriend.  I don’t see any good thing it would bring me”.

Reader——“Oo nga,  wag ka na lang mag-boyfriend,  baka magulo ka pa”.

At this time,  the curtain opened and her assistant appeared  “Excuse, naka 25 minutes na”.

Omb——“We’re done,  magkano 30 minutes?

Assistant—“Six hundred”.

Kala ko tapos na,  I paid P600 for the 30 minutes.   I was preparing to leave when she showed me a stack of cards that were printed on bond paper.  She said this is the last part of our session.   These cards are messages from  guardian angels.

She asked me to pick one, again, with my left hand.   The left hand  is intuitive and the place of feeling and spiritual expression.

What I would choose  would  be the message daw from my own guardian angel.

I picked one (nakataob lahat)  and placed it in front of her.  She kept on talking and she forgot that I’ve already picked one.   I saw her pick up the paper that I’ve chosen and placed it on top of the remaining papers.   Then naalala nya she hasn’t read the message from my guardian angel.

Reader——“I forgot,  have you picked……”

Omb——–“This one,  you placed it back…..”

Reader—–“Are you sure?”

Omb——-“Yes I am sure,  I saw you put it back.  Do you want me to pick another one?”

Reader—-“Oh no,  you cannot.  You can only pick once”.

Omb——“That’s the one I picked”.

Reader—-“Okay then,  I will read the message”.

When she saw the message.. she opened her mouth and looked at me.

Reader—–“Are you sure this is the one you picked?”

Omb——-“Yes,  just read it”.

(I was in a hurry na kasi I didn’t want to pay more than P600.  I only have P2,000 in my bag,  eh meron pa akong bibilhin).
Reader: ” You will find another man and fall in love again. You will not be lonely anymore, you will be happier”.
Omb——“I will fall in love again?” Baka with my husband?”
Reader—-“No, not with your husband”.
Omb——-“I think with my husband, I will fall in love with him again”.

She noticed my firm voice. Probably not wanting to argue with me, she just said “Yes, maybe with your husband”.

Omb———“May I take a picture?”
Reader——“You may keep that”.

When I got home, I told Edmund a shortened version of my Tarot experience. My ever skeptical husband said kaya daw sinabi na I am the Boss kasi nakita nakasuot ako ng relo.
I did tell him about my being a loner daw, being lonely, the lovers, the suitor, and the message from my guardian angel daw. “That I would fall in love again and when that happens I would be happier”.
He didn’t look pleased.