The Symbols in Ting Hun

October 5, 2019,

For practicality and convenience, many Ting Huns or Chinese engagements are now held in venues— hotels, big restaurants, events hall.
In Oyen’s case, the parents of the groom chose our house to be the venue for what they said would be a simple engagement tea ceremony. We were told that it would only be attended by close family members, no guests.

I didn’t mind. My husband and daughter were initially not keen. I told them that we would embrace the Ting Hun to show our respect for their family’s tradition, so we went along. Like what I’ve said many times before, our surnames are very Chinese, most especially me. Macao runs in half of Edmund’s veins, and half Fookien is running in mine. But we grew up more Filipino and since the Tan’s are in America, our second exposure is the US. We practice no Ting Hun. Not one among my four brothers married a pure Chinese. My Kuya Junior married someone born and raised in the same town of Binangonan, Rizal. Kuya Romy married a Bicolana. Kuya Lito married an Ilongga from Bacolod. Kuya Ben married a townmate.

My kids both spent their early years in Catholic schools with Chinese roots. They celebrated Chinese festivities such as the mooncake festival and Chinese New Year. Both are also educated in the US, and so we are also influenced by Western cultures. We hear about many Chinese traditions. But the only thing we follow and celebrate is the Chinese New Year, and not even religiously. Twice I hosted a lumpia party but I served crabs, my own version of lumpia party.

For Oyen’s Ting Hun, we did some research and asked some of our Chinese friends to familiarize ourselves with this old-age Chinese tradition.

The groom’s family cook prepared the miswa, while our maids prepared the eggs and Chinese dates soup, orange juices, etc.

Antonia boiled the eggs but the ones who removed the shells removed also the whites. Hindi pwede, reject ito. The maids feasted on egg salad.

This is the way.

Eggs with Double Happiness gold and red stickers. Eggs represent fertility. Sige nga para mabilis kami magka-apo.

Serving of orange juice was part of the ritual. I made a mistake. I had prepared freshly squeezed orange juices. I thought guests would be able to drink and finish the whole glass. Yun pala just a sip then finish na agad. Parang nasayang yung kasarap-sarap na juice.

The stage was ready by 9:30 am. I was still in the bathroom running late, putting on my make-up while Oyen was in the other guest room getting ready.

The loot bags were prepared by the groom’s family, and so were the miswa boxes, the fruits, the jewelry box, flower bouquets, etc.

The father of the bride-to-be would stand up to put the watch on the groom’s wrist. The mother of the groom-to-be would stand-up and put a gold bangle with red threads on my daughter’s wrist. The pomelos? Round fruits symbolize prosperity. They were very sweet. Edmund and I ate them all two days after the ceremony.

This is the medallion we bought from Chinatown in Bangkok. My husband and I spent the first two days of our vacation looking for this magnificent medallion. I didn’t want to buy anything that is less than pure gold. Baka mag-tarnish mapintasan pa kami.
The Chinese dragon creature is embossed on both sides. In Chinese mythology, the dragon represents imperial authority, auspicious power, strength. It may also bring good luck to those who are worthy.

I was ready with my song.