It’s 1 am. I am very sleepy but I can’t sleep. or maybe it’s more like, I don’t want to sleep. I’ve been feeling drowsy since this early afternoon. Yesterday na pala. Pinipigilan ko ang antok ko.
Something is bothering me deep down here, in my chest.
Historically I have had onsets of depression occasionally. They usually lasted for a few days or two weeks. Except on several occasions in the past when my depression
lasted longer than usual. When my father died, when Nyke got scammed, pregnancy-related depression, feeling lost after I graduated from college, and some other stuff.
Today was different, I am beginning to feel bad for myself.
I am not able to catch up with the many changes happening around me. At my age, I should know better or I should be good at accepting change.
I can’t fathom why some things have happened lately. I feel very sad thinking that we people change. Some for the better, some not so. I kept asking myself today what makes people change What makes us behave the way we do now not yesterday. Reactions to our experiences, pressure, challenges, anger, all contribute to our continuous development as human beings.
I am astonished that people I thought I knew very well in terms of character could change into someone I no longer knew.
Simple answer, because people change.
