When I was growing up, I had the impression that ours was not a happy home. Both my parents had their small businesses and were working their butts out to provide for the six of us. My mornings were greeted with screams from my mom, for me to get up and help out, either with the household chores or with her micro businesses. My papa would come frowning because he wanted me to help out naman in his store, in the ice candy factory, to help re-pack sugar, etc.
There’s a ten year gap between my 4th kuya and I. They were already going to college while me and my sister were still in elementary. My parents had their own share of problems. I knew that because I always heard them talking about problems, financial, emotional, physical, etc.
I had four brothers. My Kuya Lito was the one who didn’t give them problems while he was growing up. He went thru college without a glitch.
My eldest brother Kuya Junior scared the wits out of my parents who thought he would not be able to graduate from medicine. My parents insisted that he finished his education. He graduated, without honors, but he passed the medical board exam. He and his girlfriend got married and lived happily ever after.
My two brothers Kuya Ben and Kuya Romy always gave my parents some worry because of barkada. I witnessed my mother’s tears and my father’s blank stares.
My mother always went to church to pray for my two brothers’ welfare.
I gave my parents a lot of problems. Just like other parents, they were also scared I would not be able to graduate from college. Thank God I did.
After I got married, a few years after graduation, I heard my father say that I was the only one not giving him any problem. That was not accurate. He just had a short memory. My parents were just so forgiving of their children’s faults.
My sister was the baby and there was nothing that she did wrong until she met Bong. She was already an adult and a college graduate but my parents’ worry and disgust came from the fact that my mom had a fight with Bong’s grandparent’s long before we came into being. The wounds were deep.
When I was in high school my prayers were all the same, that I would be a better person than I was the day, weeks, before. But that never happened. It was not an UNanswered prayer. It was just all my fault. Nothing to do with God not listening to my requests.
I forgot about that prayer when I went to college, when I became a wife and a mother.
My life is what I make it, I think it’s not because God didn’t hear me. My faults are all of my own. The things that I always pray about are not unanswered. People just think all my prayers were answered because all they see are photos of me eating, me shopping, me smiling. I don’t take photos of me crying, me weeping, and in total desolation. On the floor, down and out.
I’ve made tremendous mistakes in my life and I don’t even know how to correct them. I can’t. Life’s mistakes stays and stinks. People rationalize that mistakes are part of being human. No. Mistakes are just plain and simple stupidity because we didn’t use the brains that nature provided us to decipher which way to go or when to stop. What is wrong and what is right.
I’ve been blessed with two people to care for and love unconditionally. They couldn’t be perfect because to begin with, they were brought up by the most imperfect human on earth. Me. I have a tendency to blame myself and take responsibility for my children’s faults. But my husband told me it’s not my fault. They are now adults and mistakes are life’s way of teaching them to be smarter, to be better. I knew they couldn’t be immune to pitfalls but I trusted that they would stand up wiser and stronger after a fall. I can only remind, warn them to be wary of people out to use, manipulate, take advantage of them. I cannot be by their side all the time.
I have a big problem today. I feel like floating and about to crumble. My tears are flowing into the Blue Danube.
My husband told me that I am the kind of person who wants to solve a problem immediately. But he said, I must learn how to calm down and wait. He said I cannot keep on crying or else I might get sick. In our past experiences, there were problems we couldn’t solve and didn’t know how to solve, then one day the problem just got solved by itself. It just disappeared. What felt like doomsday became a sunny day. We had problems that took time to resolve. Before we knew it, things fell in their proper places.
I am praying and hoping for the best. I hope sooner than soon my big problem becomes smaller, then gone into oblivion.
This I humbly and earnestly pray, Amen.
Hi Annie,
I pray that the good Lord continue to protect you from any harm, ease your burden and may He always grant you peace of mind. God sees everything. Please don’t be sad.
Your birthday is fast approaching! :-))
Take care.
Thank you Bes
Hi Ms. A, I hope you turn out okay ASAP. I believe that life is still okay as long as it’s not ruined/wasak. For me the most difficult thing is betrayal — which is the willful slaughter of hope. I wish nothing this bad ever happens to anyone. Right now I cannot heal my pain, i only get used to it and sometimes I feel tough or maybe numb. I hope nobody has to experience such pain. I hope you turn out just fine.
Thankyou Joey
hope you will feel better soon ms annie. be calm, pray and trust GODS plan are always the best plans.
Thank you Olive
prays with you, OMB. This too will pass.
Thank you M P T
life has its ups and downs. take care miss annie!
Thank you anne
I hope all is well Miss Annie. God bless you.
Thank you Marife
Goodluck OMB. I hope you find comfort in prayers.
Thank you Arlene
Hello Ms Annie.. I commiserate with u coz i know how it feels to be faced with a problem and u have no idea which way to turn or who to talk to.. And more often than not, we always end up being MORE CONFUSED than ever.. 🙁
But u know what? I have learned to just DEAL with it by LETTING GOD TAKE CONTROL OF THE WHEEL.. 🙂 it’s probably HIS way of telling me to just LEARN HOW TO PUT MY FAITH AND TRUST IN HIM and IN HIS WISDOM and to BE STILL AND BE PATIENT.. 🙂
Armed with this faith, the problem eventually SOLVED ITSELF and it made me feel better becoz i know that God will NEVER ABANDON ME, even if LIFE gets rough and things seemed hopeless.. 🙂
so please do NOT worry abt these things, Ms Annie.. You are a woman of STRONG FAITH and u are always PRAYERFUL.. 🙂
EVERYTHING WILL BE OKAY.. 😉 Just wait and see.. 😉 and continue to be MORE PATIENT 😉
YOU’RE GONNA BE FINE coz GOD LOVES YOU and HE WILL NEVER ABANDON YOU during ur most trying tyms… 🙂
Pls take care and be safe always.. God bless u… Il continue to PRAY for u so u will find DISCERNMENT at the soonest possible tym… 🙂
Dear Ms. Annie, your post reminded me of a time in my life in which I felt absolutely hopeless, and thought that only a miracle could resolve the situation I was in. I had thought about all the could’ve/would’ve/ should’ves and how regretful I was of unwittingly walking into things. One Sunday, the choir sang a song with these lines — No power of hell, no scheme of man, can ever pluck me from His hand, till He returns or calls me home, here in the power of Christ I’ll stand — It was a powerful message for me, that I wrote it down and claimed this promise. It is so difficult to stay still and let Him resolve things without questioning His wisdom or timeline. But when you are His, you are His. I have waited 5.5 years for Him to provide a resolution, and it has been almost 4 years since it came to pass. I will be praying for you.
Praying for God’s comfort during this time of uncertainty.
Cheer up An and be strong! Edmund’s approach is worth considering. We will pray for you. Keep well.
“Be still, sad heart! and cease repining;
Behind the clouds is the sun still shining;
Thy fate is the common fate of all,
Into each life some rain must fall,
Some days must be dark and dreary.”
My prayers are with you Ms. Annie. I know you will eventually overcome this with the grace of God. He has never failed you or anyone of us.
Miss Annie sana masolve na problems mo para maka post ka na. Di kumpleto buhay ko pag wala ang oh my buhay. God bless!
Miss Annie,
I’ve been an avid follower of your blog for a couple of years now but I haven’t had the chance to comment until now. I could somehow feel your burden by just reading your words and all I can say is makakaya mo yan, Madam. You are one of the few people who inspire me to become a better version of myself everyday. From your posts I knew how you became a self-made woman and how you stayed humble despite everything you’ve attained now. You are where you are now because you are a woman of strong values, of relentless determination, and a woman who is loved not just by your family but even those who you have not met yet. In times of trouble, remind yourself that you are blessed by the Lord above and that you will be sustained by His love and those of people you’ve inspired without you even knowing it.
Ms Annie I hope everything will be ok.. You will overcome this because you are a strong and religious person 🙂
Happy Mother’s Day, Ms. Annie! I hope everything is getting better for you as each day passes…
Happy mother’s day ms annie…keep the faith!!!!
Happy Mother’s Ms. OMB, we miss your post… Sana po kung ano man po ang pinag dadaanan nyo matapos na po. Jesus loves you and your family 🙂
ms Annie.. I hope u are okay.. This was the last post i got from ur blog.. I myself had been hospitalized for a few days, and since walang internet dun sa ospital, the next thing i did when i got home was to check out ur blogs which i might’ve missed during my hospitalization,,, 🙁 sad naman ako to find out wala ka pang bagong post.. 🙁
Pls be okay, Ms Annie.. U are always included in my prayers… Pls post again so that we will know ur okay na.. 😉
Belated HAPPY MOMS DAY to u and God bless u and the family.. <3 we love u, Ms Annie… <3
If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!
Matthew 7:11
(People rationalize that mistakes are part of being human. No. Mistakes are just plain and simple stupidity because we didn’t use the brains that nature provided us to decipher which way to go or when to stop. What is wrong and what is right.)
I do agree with you Ms. Annie of the words you wrote above. It’s but normal to commit mistakes only if you are not aware of the end result. Our mistakes make us mature. There’s also a saying that “Wise men learn from other’s mistakes; Fools learn from their own.”
Hello Ms Annie.. It’s been 11 days since ur last blog post 🙁 i hope u and the family are ok… 😉
PLEASE BE OKAY, Ms Annie.. We miss reading ur posts.. 🙁
If u need extra FRIENDS, we are always here for YOU.. <3
Pls take good care of urself and be safe always.. God bless u and the family… WE LOVE YOU, MS ANNIE <3
Hi Ms. Annie,
Trust in life that it will take care everything for you. Believe that you will always be divinely guided. Take care.
Ms. Annie, I hope and pray that your problem will be solved soon. Hoping that you’re safe with your husband and kids. Kindly be strong coz all will be well in GOD’s time. GOD bless your family always..
Hi Ms. Annie,
Hope all is well. All of us are sometimes confronted with overwhelming concerns. I would like to share to you what I would always tell myself if I’m in that situation. I would always remind myself that: “everything happens for a reason,” “nothing is permanent, this,too, shall pass.” I live in the US for quite sometime, there are times na kailangan you have to make the best out of the worst situation. Pag dami concerns sa trabaho, i just think pasalamat na lang may trabaho. Sometimes if household chores are piling up, I just tell myself pasalamat na lang may pinggan na hinuhugasan ibig sabihin may kinakain. Pag maraming lilinisin na kalat, pasalamat na lang I have my own house na I can tidy up. Ganyan lang talaga ang buhay, so cheer up ! Whatever you’re going through right now, that will also pass! Just live one day at a time, you’ll be fine!
Thank you Sophia for the words of encouragement.
I really do appreciate it.