Day JULIENNE Was Born

She didn’t want to get out of my tummy yet.  She was overdue by two weeks.  My husband and I walked from Shaw Boulevard to Meralco Avenue so baby could move closer to the “exit”.  My sister and I walked from State Financing Center Bldg in Ortigas Avenue to San Antonio Village in Pasig, para daw bumaba yung bata.  At the corner of Julia Vargas and ADB Avenue,  we stopped right in the middle of the island because my sister was so tired.  She said “Ate,  ako yata mapapa anak”.  She was still single at that time.

During my last visit to the OB-Gyne,  my baby’s heart beat was so faint so the doctor decided not to wait any longer.  I was scheduled for cesarean section, we chose the 21st of that month which was two days later.  I also chose bikini cut, as if naman mag 2 -two piece bikini ako sa beach.

On the very same day I was scheduled for operation,  my water bag broke.  I woke up my young husband and he rushed me to the University of Santo Tomas Hospital in Sampaloc, Manila.  It was 4 in the morning.  Taranta kami.

My doctor wasn’t there yet, of course.  She’s been informed that I’ve been admitted.

I was wheeled to the labor room,  my pulse, blood pressure and my baby’s heart beat constantly being monitored.   The resident doctor was very sleepy.  He bounced his head back and forth while his stetoscope was on my belly.  Twice his head fell on my big belly. I wanted to push him off his chair but I was dead flat on a very narrow bed that looked like and felt more like a buffet table to me.

Then came a series of injections plus the dextrose.

Hospitals have mastered the art of making one healthy person start feeling sick and looking miserable dagdag pa  with the bathrobe they made me  wear that exposed one’s eternity.

They brought me to  the delivery room.  But there was traffic so they parked me in the hallway.  Talking about taking away one’s dignity.   I felt so dizzy and weird.  I really felt sick and disoriented.  I would learn days later that It was due to the pampatulog.  I was high on drugs.  They drugged me!

What time was it?  We were there around 4 am.  Where’s the doctor?

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(Time out,  one of our maids Liza is making kulit me,  she’s pregnant daw and is leaving right now.  When I interviewed her before  she said she was single.  Sundan ang susunod na kabanata.   Will continue in half hour. )

Continuation…

I was finally brought  inside the delivery room  at close to 11 am.  Our anesthesiologist Dra. Carpio arrived ahead of the OB-gyne.  I chose “twighlight” instead of total sedation.  Twighlight is still being able to feel from waist up.  Meydo gising ka pa.  Aware of what’s going on.

I kept my eyes closed most of the time because the bulbs were blazing.  More injections followed including one on my spinal column which hurt.

Next thing I knew they have opened up my belly.  They called some Manong who was in the room.  Parang the doctor asked him to help her pull my baby out.  I was horrified when I realized there’s a male stranger in the room.  Dyos ko di kita na nya kaluluwa ko including laman-loob!  I felt it would be proper to inform the patients way in advance that there would be other audience in the delivery room while I would be doing the performance of my life.  I think it was a violation of my rights to privacy.

Back to my baby,  I felt a big thing lift- off.  Then I heard,  PAK! PAK! PAK!

Then the doctor said “Pina-ne-nerbyos naman ako ng batang ito”.  Then there was a commotion.  My baby wasn’t breathing!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I heard voices,  they were nervously deberating on what to do next. I heard two more PAK PAK.  The doctor ordered i-suction daw bibig.

Even while heavily drugged,  I felt scared and angry.  I panicked.  I was so concerned about my baby.  I thought Lord,  okay lang if forever akong buntis.  I will just put her back insde my stomach.  I don’t mind being pregnant for the rest of my life.  As long as my baby  is  safe inside my stomach.

I managed to lift my head a bit,  I called out  “Doktora, Doktora, yung baby ko, yung baby ko,  bakit?”.  When the OB-gyne heard me,  the more she became anxious.  She told Dra. Carpio,  “naku, lalo akong ninenerbyos,  patulugin mo na nga iyan”.

So I was given more pampatulog.  I didn’t know what happened till after 3 days.

A grade of 1 to 10 is given to babies  as soon as they were born.  The pediatrician evaluates their health and base on this,  gives the baby an initial health rating.  10 being the highest,  meaning the  baby is very healthy.  And zero, baby is dead.

Edmund is so payatot pa here.

Anak,  you and shoti are God’s most precious gifts to me.  Many times I doubted if I’m deserving enough to be your mom.  I apologize for whatever mistakes I made as a mom,  especially when you were still little because I was  young and growing up.  I thank you so much for being so respectful, loving, kind, responsible and for everything.

She made this pop-up card last week:

Thank you anak.

Thank you anak.