October 13, 2021
I was sulking today and believe me, weeping. I felt so so depressed because something has been haunting me in the past several years. I made one big mistake that I will regret for the rest of my life. It was a decision that could have brought me peace of mind in certain aspects and would increase my assets.
This feeling of regret has been killing me for years and last year and this year the feeling grew in thunder because I have more free time to think about things. I am basically idle so I have a lot of time being wasted thinking about stuff.
Today is a very bad day. My stomach is grumbling the whole day, my chest is pounding and my head is about to explode.
I am in isolation because of covid scare and maybe my feeling of self-flagellation is magnified because I have nothing to do but overthink my life.
I spoke to my brother to share with him what I have been brooding about all these years.
Although I already knew everything he had said, I just needed a reminder.
He said not to let that one failure define me. I have had many successes in the past and yet I am letting myself focus on that one mistake.
Maybe God didn’t intend me to have that. He said many persons feel that way too, hinayang but what can we do? As a business person, I made that decision without thinking about what could have been. My Kuya told me he himself had made dozens of mistakes and if he would dwell on them, he wouldn’t be successful now. Hindi na sya maka move forward.
At least 4 business partners of his cheated him and he told me if he would spend his days suing them, it’s not going to be productive. Although he lost massive amounts of capital and business opportunities, he decided to just focus his efforts and time in rebuilding his businesses. He had lost valuable real estate properties and he said he doesn’t think of those things otherwise he’ll go crazy.
He said there are so many millionaires and billionaires who have made a lot of bad moves too.
My kuya is 12 years older than me and has wider experiences in successes and failures. His words of wisdom made me feel a lot better.
