Fying Ipis

Last night, around midnight,
our bedroom lights were off,
I was watching tv while sitting on the bed,
Edmund was sleeping,
our door opens:

Omb————— “Anak…”
Oyen————– “Mom, there’s a big ipis in the kitchen. I was eating and it kept flying….”

Edmund was awakened…”What?”

Omb————— “Meron daw malaking flying ipis sa kitchen”.
I stood up and followed Oyen to the kitchen.

Omb———— “Where is it?”
Oyen———– “There! It was hovering over my head. I was eating pa naman”.

Flying ipises (plural) are more difficult to pukpok. They have flexibility to get away.
I crumpled a tiny cardboard I found on the kitchen island and threw it on the ipis with my left hand. My right was holding a folded newspaper.
Abah tyamba, asintado talaga ako. I hit it right on its back considering that the crumpled cardboard was the size of a five peso coin.  Ang liit lang.   The ipis fell but it clung to the side of the cabinet.

I couldn’t reach it but I used the newspaper to make the ipis transfer place. It did. It flew on me. Pesteng ngya wok na ipis ito. It landed on the floor. I started hitting it with the newspaper, ang lambot naman nung dyaryo kasi konti lang yung pages. Dapat matigas di ba hindi malambot.

It had so much strength and power. It was wiggling for 15 minutes, trying to get up. It was continuously flapping its wings.
Omb———- “Ang tibay nya ha. Ayaw mamatay”.
Oyen——— “Why don’t you kill it”.
Omb———- “I don’t like, that’s yucky”.

I repeated spraying Baygon several times and it still refused to die.
I was tired already so I told Oyen to watch it and make sure it doesn’t get away.

Omb———– “Wash your hands”.

This morning at breakfast:
Omb———– “Anak where’s the ipis?”.
Oyen———- “It didn’t die. It was still alive when I went to bed”.
Omb———– “Ha? It got away?”
Oyen———- “You came here first”.
Omb———– “It’s no longer there”.
Edmund——– “It’s dead”.
Omb———– “Who took it?”
Edmund——– “I threw it away”.

Goodbye Ipi (singular) , I know you fought for your life until the very end. But you were fighting a losing battle. Your intentions were bad. You contaminated our food and dinner plates. You made our cabinets bantot. There’s no way I would allow you to linger in our kitchen. Our kitchen is too small for the two of us.