Yesterday I felt so inspired and motivated. It was like a new day for me. After coming out of the chapel, para bang merong preskong hangin na dumampi sa akin and it just suddenly perked me up. I was excited to go outside of my comfort zone and explore new things. Today is the opposite. I woke up feeling so low. I tried to shake off that feeling of sadness by doing some washing, cleaning, scrubbing tubs, bowls and floors. It’s a good exercise and double purpose. Burning calories and keeping my mind off some negative emotions.
I am one person that gets easily inspired. One side of me thinks and analyzes too much, but half of me doesn’t even think. I just go right in, whatever comes to my mind. In a way I am like a fly in the pan.
One thing that could easily consume me is my emotions. I am so emotional about anything and everything. I am one crazy worrier. I worry about the tiniest thing. I get so affected too when I see a stranger looking sad. Paano na sila, sana maayos ang buhay nila. My husband always tells me kaya lagi akong may migraine kasi daw pati yung problema ng ibang tao pinuproblema ko. I am like that, I am already too old to change the way I feel and think.
I hope tomorrow I’ll get a breath of fresh air again so to speak. I hope to feel inspired again. I wish I could predict what my days would be like when I watch the weather channel. I wish life is as simple as holding a tiny leaf in the open air and see which direction the wind would blow. I wish it’s as simple as 1,2,3 and A, B, C. But it’s not. It’s as complicated as it can be. It’s unpredictable as I hate it to be. I want consistency in my life. I like predictability. I like my life to be uniform and steady. I think we all do.
Invariability in my days throws me off balance. However, this forces me to hold on tight. And what surprises me sometimes is even during times of adversity, I still somehow manage to thrive.
I think it’s because I hold on to my faith that someone is watching over me.
#kapitlang
