He came home finding my Iphone charger on the sofa.
E———“Oh, nakakalat lang itong charger mo, baka mawala na naman….”
Omb——- “Tart, nagger ka pa nga”.
E——— “Matagal ko ng nakikita yan dyan, simula ng dumating ka”.
Omb——- “Sweetheart, nagger ka, para kang mama ko. Anong matagal na, that was in my bag, I just placed it there tonight before you came home”.
E——— “Oh, ano itong naka saksak dito?”
(I was charging my Ipad before he came home. I removed it a few minutes before he arrived but with the intention to charge it again”.
E (while changing into shorts and sando)—– “Ang laki na talaga ng tyan ko, hindi na mapigilan”.
Omb——— “Buti ka nga ganyan lang, ang akin eh,…..”
E———– “May laman kaya ito? Mag pa lipo kaya ako?”
Omb——— “Tart, I want to go to the beach”.
E———– “Beach? Ano ka, idi-display natin.. ganito..”.
Omb——— “I want to go to the beach, hindi na mainit ngayon”.
E———– “Anong isusuot mo, anong isusuot mo? Magbi-bikini ka?”
Omb——— “Daster, mas bagay nga ang daster sa beach”.
E———– “Kilala mo si ____________ di ba? Yung dating sa M_______________.
Omb——— “Okay, tila narinig ko na sa’yo”.
E———– “Na-meet mo na yun, dun sa birthday nung anak ni _______”.
Omb——— “What about him?”
E———– “Nadun sa driving range, ayaw umuwi at naiinis sa asawa nya”.
E———– “Binagsakan daw sya ng telepono”.
These are his other complaints about his wife:
1. She takes her time inside the bathroom, while he waits outside. He is forced to use their guest room’s bathroom.
2. He doesn’t like to travel with her.
“Pare, romantic sa Europe, ayaw kong kasama misis ko, menopause na yun”.
Omb——— “There are a hundred reasons married couples could fight about, lalo yung matagal nang mag-asawa, syempre sawang-sawa na sila”.
Examples of pissed-off husbands:
Si Architect____ , they’re now attending Couples for Christ every weekend, and Marriage Encounters, kasi muntik na silang maghiwalay. Yung wife nya, hindi natutulog sa gabi kung hindi nya minamasahe yung mga paa. Makakatulog na sya nun. He has to be home in time for her bedtime.
Si Kumpareng _______, hindi natutulog yung wife nya na hindi sya kalapit, at nakahiga ito sa braso nya. Kailangan maunang matulog yung misis nya.
Edmund—–(ubo-ubo)—- Inuubo na yata ako.
Omb——– Allergic ka sa akin.
E———– Thirty years na tayo, anong allergic.
