Renewal of Vows

Patience or tolerance of each other is a key factor in marriage. Love alone cannot carry you through.

As a person I am short-fused. I get mad easily. I am generally mataray. But when it comes to my relationship with my husband, I am more tolerant especially when we were a lot younger. I had the ability to ignore things that hurt me. I could just keep quiet and let things be. Edmund was also very patient with me.
As I got older, I felt the need to blurt it out. That means when we were younger we fought less, as we grew older, we argued more.

When I was younger, when there were things that hurt me, I didn’t argue nor nag my husband. I went inside the toilet and cry for maybe 10 minutes. Or I cried myself to sleep. In the middle of the night while my husband and kids were sound asleep. my tears were drenching my pillow. My husband would not even know na meron akong ikinasasama ng loob.
The negative effect of keeping my sama ng loob inside was I became indifferent. I moved away from being friends with him. It affected the way I viewed my marriage. In the process, I curtailed my spontaneity which made me very unhappy. My reactions over Edmund’s actions were quiet indifference. Lumayo ang loob ko.

I think it’s better to express your feelings as soon as possible. If there’s something that you didn’t like, say it at once. Ako laging delayed reaction. Dapat hindi.

Traditionally couples renew their vows on the 25th, 50th, 75th year. We had a grand celebration on our 25th.  Basi Valdez sang during the blessing. I didn’t consider it a renewal of vows although Fr. Jonil Lalap (+) blessed our union.  A wife of Edmund’s friend who attended our party commented that they didn’t celebrate their 25th because those who did didn’t reach 50 years of marriage.  Either naghiwalay na o namatay na.  That woman was so thoughtless and rude.  Imagine bakit nya kailangan sabihin yun.

50 years is still too far out from the horizon. I am not even imagining that I would marry Edmund again on our 50th wedding anniversary. Baka ayain ko na lang syang diretso na sa honeymoon, wala ng paliguy-ligoy pa,  hubaran na agad.

75 years,  iyan talaga kailangan renewal of vows.  Kasi when you’re 100 years old,  aba talaga namang you both need a lot of reminders.  The wedding coordinator needs a checklist:

1.  Tatang /Nanang Do you remember who you are?

2. What is your name?

3. Who is your spouse?  What’s his/her name?

4. Can you still remember how he/she looks like?

5.  Can you please point at him/her if he/she is in the audience?

I live in the present. What you can do today, do it now if you want it and don’t wait for another 15 years. That’s why 35 years is a good year to do these things.  Let’s celebrate now.  While I can still remember who my husband is. Medyo romantic pa at kilig ng konti.

Lighting of the unity candle