Selfie with the dead

My sister informed me that her high school batch mate and younger sister of their friend Merlina died. She fell into a coma after her second stroke. Her brain continued to swell.

I went out of my way to go to the wake in Binangonan last Thursday afternoon for the love of my sister. I re-arranged my other schedules to make it on that day.
Merlina lives in Hercules, Ca and she’s a good friend of Bong and Aileen. I’ve been to her house once in 2013 when I tagged along with my sister during one of their Binangonan Association of Northern California (BANC) officers’ meeting.

It took me an hour to reach Calumpang, Binangonan from Ford Cainta. That’s supposed to be no more than half hour drive. My friend Luming was waiting for me at the sidewalk. She’s also a friend of Merlina.

I arrived at 6 pm.

Del, Luming, Luningning

Dead people have unlimited time to look at the names of people who signed on the guest book and condoled with their family. There is no need to visit them one by one to say thank you.

The minute I entered their house, parang sumama ng konti ang pakiramdam ko, siguro because of the stale air. I went out and sat with this group who are also my sister’s batchmates. Some of them are Ohmybuhay readers, some just know my name.
Cora Lirio, Tess Nido, Yeng Marinas, Cristina Ojeda, Wengie Chulvo, Wilfredo “Gail” Cruz.

Natakot naman ako sa mga kwento nila.   Gail said ever since he came back from abroad,  4 people had already been shot in front of his house or had been dumped in front of his house.  He has installed CCTV, more lights and covered his house with a net.

A friend of theirs daw was sitting by the road , while busy using her phone,  then two men riding on a motorcycle snatched the phone from her hand and sped away.

We were practically beside the road,  maybe 3 meters away,  and the gate was wide open, nag-worry tuloy ako baka biglang merong manghold-up sa amin.

I ate several packets of Boy Bawang while talking with them. I realized how hungry I was. I haven’t had lunch and dinner pala. It’s almost 7 pm. Gusto ko ng umalis para kumain.  I usually do not hang around a wake. Normally I would stay for no more than an hour but in this case, I couldn’t leave because Merlina was not here yet.

Lighting candles beside a curtain is not a good idea.

Kaya siguro masama ang pakiramdam ko kasi gutom ako. Ang kapal ko talaga. When they offered sopas, YES YES YO!

iBA ANG LASA NG SOPAS Binangonan, iba ang luto. Masarap kasi super init.
One more cup of sopas please, parang hindi sumayad sa bituka ko.

Sisters Merlina and Luningning.

Merlina (in black dress) has been living in the US for almost 20 years I think.  She also doesn’t like living in the US and  wants to retire in our country.

She intends to stay in Binangonan till June.  She quit her job last week so she could devote her time to her 23 year old niece who’s depressed.

With her mother gone, and her older sister working as a nurse in Saudi Arabia,  the girl  needs companion and guidance.

Luningning is a nurse and has been living in England for 15 years with her husband and son. I couldn’t detect any British accent. Puntong Binangonan pa rin sya. Which shows she’s well grounded. Ayaw daw nya dun, she longs to retire in Binangonan and to live a simple life.   She told me their father worked abroad for 27 years to provide for their big family but he was away from them kaya malungkot.   She promised herself not to do that,  to be away from her family.  But she ended up working abroad too for financial reasons.  She helps her siblings and relatives.   Siya daw ang takbuhan.   She kept on saying gusto lang nya na mahirap sya.  I corrected her.  She should not say she wants to be poor.  We have to be careful with what we wish for.  I told her not to say mahirap,  kasi ayaw naman nyang maghirap.  I understood that she meant she wanted to live a simple life kaya that’s what I told her to say.  That she just wants to live simply.    I admire her for being helpful to others.

My husband called at around 7:45 pm. He’s home na daw.
It’s almost eight pm, time to go home. I asked if I could use their toilet.
They brought me to another house in the same compound. The house is nicer and I supposed the toilet is better. Nahihiya ako. They accorded me with this privilege and VIP treatment. Cowboy naman ako kahit sa damuhan pwede akong mag jingle wag lang may hidden camera.

This reminded me of my childhood toilet. Timba and gripo.

Before Luming and I left, nagpicture-picture muna. Luningning asked me a few times to have my photo taken beside Flordeliza. Nung una akala ko isa sa mga babae na nadun na gustong mag selfie with me. Yun pala she wanted us to include her deceased sister in the photo. When I realized she was referring to the dead, nag dead-ma ako kunwari.  I pretended to be bingi.  Paano kaya iyun? I haven’t posed beside a coffin before and it has never crossed my mind to do something like that.  Is the dead going to sit up straight muna so she could be seen in the photo? Or are we going to move our faces closer to the glass case so her face could join us in the photo shoot? Eh kung biglang mag smile sya?

I think while we are alive, let’s have all the selfies in the world. Let’s smile and celebrate life and togetherness. But when one is nasa Himalayang Pilipino na, wag na natin syang isali sa selfie. Let’s just post their ALIVE photos, wag na yung post-embalsamo.

Del, Luming, yours truly, Luningning, Merlina.