He started working for my brother as company driver when I was in my early 20s. He was a Commerce graduate and had a few units in Law. He exhibited trustworthiness, intelligence and dependability. He was promoted to a sales position and he proved to be competent.
He was at my wedding, Oyen’s baptism and first few birthdays. We treated him more like a distant relative attending family events including Edmund’s birthdays. My parents were fond of him kasi meron syang malasakit sa aming pamilya at kumpanya.
He has four daughters from 3 women. His wife (mother of his two daughters) migrated to the US and according to him, she has practically abandoned him. Never calling, writing, or sending money. Yes she did, $20, the past 10 years.
A few years ago, while he was in Cebu, she found out that his wife was in Manila. They spoke on the phone and she requested him to visit her relatives in Bohol. He made a quick trip to Bohol and then he found out his wife was leaving for the US again in two days. He hurriedly left for Manila. He was able to see her for one minute at NAIA’s departure door. She was about to enter the door when he arrived in a taxi and called her. She turned and told him “sige na paalis na ako”. That’s it.
For the past 10 years, he always came by my office telling me that he needed money for either a plane ticket or sasakay sya ng barko.
Nung una, bigay ako ng bigay. Before I knew it, I have given him at total of more than P50,000. I found out he never went home to his native Cebu. One time, one of our staff told me that he was always hanging out in Sm Megamall at the lotto ticket booths, making friends with the lotto girls, treating them out to lunch at expensive restaurants in the mall like Max, Jollibee, McDonald’s. Aristocrat, etc. Baka daw kaya laging walang pera. Baka daw nauuto nung mga girls duon.
His situation has gotten worst. I talked to his daughter to make sure he’s taken cared of. I found out they all contributed for his daily sustenance.
He also asked money from them saying that he would go home to Cebu. They would buy him tickets but he would never show up at the port.
Before, he would come to our office once a month. It became more frequent, once a week, then twice a week. Three weeks ago, he started making rounds, He would see me, then my daughter, then Edmund, then my son. Then the next day, he rotates again.
I discouraged Oyen, Nyke and Edmund to give him P500 – P1,000. Can you imagine how much that would translate to in a month and year? He has 4 daughters (one is a nurse, another one is a medtech both in the US) who are capable of taking care of him. We should not bear the burden of giving him money on a daily basis.
Oyen feels guilty for not giving him any money kasi nga inaaraw-araw naman kami. Naaawa sya. When I am not around she would text me “Mom, mang r__ is here waiting for you”.
Natutuo na rin akong tikisin sya. If it’s only for his food, ang bilis naman nya nauubos yung mga bigay namin. And his daughters provide him enough for his needs.
It’s important to have a support system like family. However, it’s more important to be financially independent so as not to bother other people. Financial independence doesn’t mean being wealthy. To those with lesser income, it only means that you should be able to feed yourself and take care of your basic necessities.
I wish everyone wellness, food on the table and roof above your heads.
