I am amazed at what we people say.
1. UAAP female volleyball player:
“My favorite family vacation is with my family.”
2. Advice from our driver #1 to driver #2:
“Maglagay ka ng buo sa pitaka mo. Araw-araw kang namamasahe para hindi ka maubusan ng pera. Lakihan mo ang lagay, yung buo. Lagay mo ng singkwenta na buo.”
3. Antonia
“Sars cream”
4. NAIA 3 female announcer
“To all our passengers arriving from Manela. We are renobeyting to serb you better please bare wid us tenk you.”
5. The PAL Mabuhay Lounge in NAIA Terminal 2 are jampacked in the evening because there are flights to Los Angeles, San Francisco leaving within minutes from each other. People tend to forget that other passengers could hear their conversations.
It’s not a good thing to talk in a very loud voice about a friend dying of pancreatitis:
Male Passenger #1 —-” Umiiyak na si ___ alam no na, baka mamatay na, Tapos biglang nabuhay pa.”
Passenger #2—-“Hindi pa nya panahon!”
Passenger #1—-“Alam mo kung bakit sya nagka-ganon?” Kumain sya ng chicharon bulaklak. Nakita sa CTScan.”
6. Male Passenger #3—-“Upgraded to business class by mistake! Ang swerte natin.
Tutuksuhin ako ng mga anak ko.”
Male Passenger #4—-“Pare, i-Viber mo na ang boarding pass, business class!”
7. Oyen gave me flyers of two florists she got from a wedding fair. I wanted to decorate our house with some fresh flowers I contacted the number in one of the flyers. They’re located in Dangwa.
Florist—–“Saan ang binyu?”
A—-“Dito lang sa bahay namin sa Quezon City.”
Florist—- “Pumunta ka na lang dito para pag-usapan natin.”
A—–“Di ba kailangan makita nyo muna yung lugar para alam mo kung anong klaseng arrangement ang kailangan ko.”
Florist—-“Mag-occular kami pero kailangan magbooking ka na. Kung hindi, ikaw na lang ang pumunta dito.”
8. Stewardess to Edmund —–“Mr. Tan-Yee what do you want to drink?”
E—-“Coffee.”
A—-“Napagkamalan kang Mr. Tan-Yee.”
E—-“Lahat naman. Palitan ko na apelyido ko.”
Stewardess—“Mr. Tan, the coffee is still brewing.”
E—–“Mister Tan naman ako ngayon.”
9. Thai taxi driver #1:
Driver—-“Tepi bey. Tep-pi bey.”
Edmund—-“Ano daw?”
A—-Safety belt.”
10. Thai taxi driver #2:
When we got on the cab, the air conditioning was off.
A—-“Aircon”.
Driver—“Ye ye con”.
He didn’t do anything.
A—-“Aircon. HOT!”
Driver—-“Ye ye incon”.
11. E—-“Masbate rice”
(My husband meant Basmati rice.)
12. E—-“Iba yung kanilang costumes.”
(He was referring to the custom and traditions.)
13. I attended luncheon with about 15 old and older fabulous women.
Apparently the woman seated across me was recently widowed. She was skipping some of the dishes kasi bawal daw sa kanya.
Lady #1—Bawal sa akin yan, bone marrow. May high blood ako.”
Lady #2—Mag-date ka kasi, kulang ka lang sa romansa.”
Lady #1—“Coke, bawal sa akin yan, may thyroid…”
Lady #2—-“Ang dami mon namang bawal”.
Lady #1 whispered to #2—-“Hindi daw bawal ang sex sabi ng doctor ko.”
It was loud enough that we all heard it.
Lady #2—Eh wala ka namang ka-sex. Pumunta ka sa kalapit bahay mo.”
Lady #3—-“Bakit ako? Dalawang araw na akong naka-abang sa mister ko, wala pa ring sex.”
Lady #4—“!:30 na, antok na ako, alis na ako.”
Lady #2—-“Ikaw, kailangan mo rin ng boyfriend.”
14. Lady #6—“Nakita mo ba si (a famous celebrity) iba na mukha, papalit-palit ng mukha. Iba na ang hitsura,
Lady #2 to Lady #1—-“Hoy, huwag kang ganyan, mag-iba ka ng attitude. Matuwa ka patay na ang asawa mo.”
Lady # 4—-:Dinalaw namin si___ sa hospital, yung asawa nya naghihingalo na. Ang sabi nya sa doctor “Doc ayoko ng iuwi yan, hwag nyo na syang gamutin, dapat ngayon na sya mamaalam.”
15. Edmund—-“Ang lusot ba nyan diretsong Aguinaldo highway hanggang Santis?”
Barangay——-“Santis…. ahh yung dilacasin?”
(He meant delicatessen.)
16. Woman—“IKEA meatballs from France”
A—–“Swedish meatballs”
17. E—-“Saan yung gusto mong puntahan?”
A—-“Baku. City of Baku, Azerbian.”
E—-“Azerbaijan”. Sabi mo Azerbian.”
A—-“Azerbaijan, ang haba kasi.”
