I picked fresh white roses from Edmund’s rose garden. To say that we have a rose garden is quite pretentious because we only have a row of roses on one side of our house. It may not qualify as a rose garden. I like calling it a rose garden because the flowers are enough to fill my imagination.
I wrapped the thorny stems with aluminum foil and placed them in the built in wrought iron vases provided by the cemetery.
Every time I visit my parents in the cemetery and with the addition of my brother, it’s always a tear-jerker moment. What is hard is controlling my emotions. I recognize my pent up grief when it shows up but I couldn’t embrace it in the presence of my husband. I feel my husband mocks me when I cry. He doesn’t probably understand why I cry every single time. And because I was never alone every time I visit, I couldn’t really sit there for more than 5 minutes to talk to my parents or just to express my grief. Or just simple be there, quietly.
I just make the sign of the cross and silently say hi to them. Sometimes we say short prayers such as the Lord’s Prayer, Hail Mary, and Glory Be. Our visits don’t last 10 minutes. Either it’s too hot, it’s too windy, or it’s too chilly.
Today was the same thing. We stayed for maybe 7 to 10 minutes. Theo was with us and we just left him in the car. Nakakapagod din to strap him in and out of his car seat.
My next visit will most likely be sometime in February 2026.
