Bisita Do’s and Don’ts

We all like visiting other people’s homes.  We are merely curious about how they live.

It excites us to see their way of life so to speak.

Many are grateful to be invited into the homes of others because it’s a privilege to be let into one’s private enclave.

However, there are also those who are envious that’s why they wanted to see the house.  Envy is a common reaction but we should be able to know its boundaries and how to control it.  We can turn this envy into inspiration.  Like many years ago, when we visited a mansion somewhere in Mandaluyong, pag-uwi  ko, parang gusto kong maglinis ng mga kalat namin.

One time, I made the mistake of inviting a  professor from Ateneo, for a short meeting regarding the statistics I needed for my thesis.  It was supposed to be a half hour discussion.  But he spent the first 20 minutes analyzing every bit of imperfection in our house.  “Ay, who did your railing?  It’s not perfect, baku-bako.  The craftsmanship was bad”.  He went around my house noticing the paint on the wall, the less than exquisite curtains, etc.”

I would like to share with you a few do’s and don’ts when visiting other people’s homes.  When I say other people’s homes,  that means  a house –  other than yours.  Or a house, that is NOT YOURS.

1.  Keep a sincere heart.  You are being welcomed into their home so be grateful.  That is a PRIVILEGE.

2.  You are visiting only.  You are not there as a representative of the Residential Management Team or from the Space Planning Institute.    “Konti lang kayo, ang laki-laki ng bahay nyo”.

3.  You are not from the Department of Social Welfare and Development to check on the status of the children.  “Hindi ba kayo nalulungkot dito?

4.  You were not sent by the Philippine Interior Designers Association to evaluate the hideousness of the owner’s taste.-  “Gusto mo ba ang style nitong bahay nyo?”

5.  Are you the compliance manager from the Architects and Engineers Association?-  “Confusing naman ang lay-out”.

6.  Or are you conducting a Married Couples Compatibility Study?-  “Gusto ba itong style ng asawa mo?”

7.  Don’t tell me you are the Merchandiser of  Rustan’s?-  “Saan-saan  galing itong mga furniture?”

8.  Purchasing manager perhaps?  – “Saan nyo binili yang mga baso, bakit ang lalaki naman?”

9.  Or are you an Anti- Pretentious Advocate?-   “Yan ba ay ginagamit araw-araw o inilabas lang dahil may bisita?”

On a related note, we Filipinos are notorious in asking “magkano ginastos nyo dito”  or “mag-kano ang upa nyo” or “magkano ang hulog nyo”.  I guess okay lang because maybe the guests are also planning to build or rent a similar house.    But what is not okay is the follow-up comment/s made after the owner had answered the first question.

I have visited many houses in Manila, including my townmates’ houses in Binangonan and I have heard other guests asked the owners these thoughtless questions

1.  “Naka mortgage ba ito?  Saang banko? –  Why, are you going to help the owners negotiate for a lower interest rate?  Do you own the bank?

2. “Buti nakakaya nyong hulugan?”  –  Why, are you going to help them?

3. “Saan kayo kumukuha ng peran’g pambayad?”  –  Hello  Na pu les mo.

4. “Sa’yo yata ipinatago ni Marcos yung ill-gotten wealth”.   – Wakanga!

5. “Baka drug dealer kayo”. –  Watdapatpat!

6. “Tumama kayo sa lotto?” –  Corny mo.

Remember guys,  when you visit your neighbor’s house,  look for the nice things.  If you find something you totally hate,  don’t hate,  it’s not your house.  If you can’t help it,  reserve your comments till you get into your car or house.  “Bakit may gorilla dyan?” Don’t share your criticism with the owner kasi that’s an insult, disrespect and BASTOS.  The owner can put a giant mummified gorilla in their dining room and it’s none of your business.  It’s their house, not yours.

Back in the day,  when it’s town fiesta,  my mom would hang her favorite flashing green colored curtains.  It did not matter whether we liked it or not.  It’s her house.  I was not a fan of green color.  But watching her beautiful face lit up after she  hung the curtains would make one like green too.   And now that I have my own house,  I can hang any color I want.   When the time comes that my children have their own places,  they can decorate it their style.

When decorating your own room, house, kubo, apartment, condo –  Do as you please.  Whatever makes you happy.  Impress yourself, not others.