Happy Dreams

My son’s right ear started bleeding. He was only 2 that time. We couldn’t see where the blood was exactly coming from.
I brought him to a specialist at the Medical City Hospital. The doctor couldn’t see either. He didn’t suggest confining him. He just told me to observe first if my son would be “matamlay”, or would just sleep and sleep. He said that would be a sign that it’s an emergency. If that happens, I must rush him to the hospital and he must be operated on because the ear is very near his brain.   He even added that my son could end up  handicapped depending on what could have been  affected. That’s what the doctor said.   He’s from Greenhills daw, malapit lang. He gave me his home phone number in case.

I went home crying, confused, terrified, extremely worried. Edmund arrived at around 7 in the evening and I related to him what the doctor said. Edmund was so worried too. He told me that God wll not allow something bad to happen to our baby. He said “halika, lakad tayo sa labas”. So the two of us went out of our house and walked 3 blocks. We looked at the heavens and wished that our baby would be well. Edmund said “hindi tayo pababayaan ng Dyos”.

I couldn’t sleep that night. My daughter Julienne who was 7 that time,  and Edmund were already asleep.
My son was sound asleep in his crib.   I stood up and watched my baby while he slept.  He looked like an angel.  Then I went outside of our bedroom. I had a small cabinet cum altar near the stairs. I lighted a candle, knelt down and prayed. I cried and cried in front of Sto. Nino and Our Lady of Lourdes. With both arms spread out, I asked for their help. I prayed nothing bad would happen to my son.

At exactly 12 midnight, I went back to bed. I was closest to our window facing the main street.
There was a stray of light that went through our heavy curtains, then another one reflected on the glass. I stood up to check where it came from. I looked out the window. I didn’t see a single vehicle in the street. I looked up and saw the full moon shining so brightly.  And for some reason I said “Lord, is that you?” then I went back to bed.

I started dreaming about everything that’s funny. I no longer remember the details of my dreams that night, but for the very first time in my whole life, they were all super funny. I would wake up every now and then from my giggles. I would fall back to sleep in seconds and start dreaming again, and they were all happy dreams. I was smiling and laughing. All through out the night,  I laughed in my dreams. When I woke up that morning, I was so happy and felt so light. I concluded maybe God was telling me not to worry because everything would be alright. He was right. The bleeding stopped. My son was alright.

His first visit to the US. Here with first cousin and partner in crime Kaykay, first child of Aileen & Bong. My father scolded him for wasting water. My son reasoned out to his Lolo Cardo that he’s watering the plants because they’re kawawa.

With Atchi (elder sister) and cousin Tintin (Aileen’s second child).

He said mommy looked like this when she’s angry.

First Communion

I was not looking for my dreams to interpret my life,

but rather for my life to

interpret my dreams.

by Susan Sontag