The meaning of my son’s name

I had a bad pregnancy. I was always feeling off, in a bad mood, not understanding how my body was reacting to the growing baby inside of me. I was always crying in frustration. The physiological changes competed with the psychological and emotional effects taking place.
The result was a young woman, feeling confused, disoriented and hesitant to become a mother the second time around.

I named him after the book Marvin K. Mooney will you please go now by Dr. Seuss, the authors are brothers Jan and Stan Berenstein

The name Marvin has many variations. Edmund and I chose between Mervyn and Marvin. We picked Marvin. It’s of English origin and means Great Lord.
His second name Jan is Dutch and means Gracious God. It’s purely coincidental that both names have God in their meanings.

The baby came out jaundiced but otherwise healthy.

(with yaya Mary ann)

With some pimples but with translucent skin. As he got older, his two dimples became deeper. But his speech was delayed. Avoiding surgery, he started to talk before he turned two.

Fast forward, he’s now turning 30.

It sounds corny but I cannot put it any other way. I have no other explanation. My son was given to me by God. Nyke didn’t choose me, nor I chose him. Fate brought us together. And I thank God for the opportunity to be a mother the second time around. Not many are given that chance. As a mother, there were many things that I failed to do, I missed doing, didn’t know how, I should’ve done, I should not have done, but in summation, I just did what I did. My son came out fine. Not perfect just like you and I, and all of us.

His first 29 years went NOT without scratches. That’s life, we can’t have a wonderful day every single day. Some days are happy, some days are gloomy, some days are challenging.  It would be nice if 365 days is nothing but happiness.   But it’s not like that.  My son faced massive challenges which I would like to think had taught him lessons, though painful lessons.  I hope he learned from those mistakes.

I look back at the times when my own mother was always complaining about the friends of my brothers. Some, she said, were bad influences. Nag-iinom, nagma-mahjong, nagbebeto-beto, nagbubulakbol sa eskwela. She said the influences outside our home were greater than her mga pangaral (advice, lectures, sermons). She said my brothers listened more to their friends rather than to her.

I experienced that with my own son. After graduating from college, we let him work as sales executive at Ford Cainta, as part of his training.   He met new friends other than his college and high school friends. He met equally young people, two brothers, who were in direct marketing / networking. My son’s goal was initially to sell cars to them but eventually, they sold their idea to my son of earning bigtime from networking. Nyke was so trusting and in his desire to prove to himself and to us that he too could be financially successful, he put all his bets on his new friends who told him Nyke was like a brother to them. A female friend of his also introduced Nyke to another young guy named Peter who solicited investments from Nyke and from his classmates and friends.

Time and time again, we see on the news people crying and complaining of losing their money in direct marketing and networking like these. My son was oblivious to that and on the contrary 100% believed and was enticed by the promise of high returns. He never, for one second, doubted that this too good to be true schemes could fail. Where on earth could anyone earn 10%, 15%, 20% a month? My son was left with an empty bag, all his money and his friends were gone. They even left Nyke with massive headaches. My son’s reputation was ruined. He lost his name and his face. His friends blamed him although they knew from the beginning that what they were getting into were risky business propositions. It was the easiest thing to do. To put all the blame to my son although they all knew what they were getting into.

That was in 2015 & 2016.

It was my decision, Edmund’s, my brother, our lawyers, friends, to move Nyke away from that kind of environment. Young boys aggressively playing with their money. Young boys who believed that one can earn millions and billions with a flick of a finger.

We wanted my son to live a simple life, away from the Manila wheeling and dealing orientation. One can live a decent and content life without the need to play with money. One can have a decent job, even if the salary is not enough to buy a Ferrari, but can still be happy and content.

It was a struggle in the beginning, but now, my son has adjusted to his new life. I asked him the other night if he misses home. He said – the dogs and the food. Then he said, “dad told me to start a life here”.

He has used his four years productively, earning an MBA and a Masters in International Studies.  He is finishing another degree. He has acquired knowledge that could be useful in his next steps.

He would soon be 30 and his journey is reaching another crossroad. Where to go, what to take, which door to enter, what to do, would soon unfold and decisions must be made. Whatever steps he takes is up to him.   I hope his choices would lead to the paths lighted by his Creator.
The God who gave Nyke to me.