I think I am suffering from depression03:39 AM Sunday May 24, 2020 |

I have a serious bout of insomnia. I can’t sleep. I sleep every other day.
Like now, it’s 3 am and I am still wide awake. I take an eighth of a Bonamine tablet to make me slightly drowsy hoping in a few hours I will feel sleepy.

My sleeping pattern has been like this for three months already. I don’t know why. Many times my eyes are still wide open at 7 am.

This afternoon, while we were at a small park, I realized why I am like this lately. I think I am having another bout of depression. I am depressed! I know this is not inspiring but yes indeed, I realized today that I am depressed. All this time kaya pala I am irritable, melancholic, impatient, anxious, hypersensitive, lacking sleep, konting bagay lang may tears start to fall, kaya pala.

My husband asked me two nights ago what’s troubling me, what’s giving me stress kasi nga I haven’t been sleeping.

I worry about my son’s health and safety. He goes out almost daily and drives to faraway cities and this makes me lose sleep too. The corochina virus is still very much alive and I am praying for his protection.

I also worry about catching the virus. I am sitting here and waiting to be vaccinated. Soon, Oyen and Edmund are going back to Manila and the situation in there agonizes me too. I can’t imagine the logistics. Oyen rides the car that’s been thoroughly sanitized. Her driver wanders around while he waits for her. He could catch the virus and exposes every person in our household. When he goes home to his family he could pick up the virus somewhere.

Ford Edsa is another. In this corner, all of us are affected. It hasn’t reopened yet and there are things that need urgent attention. I hope and pray that we are able to reopen on Wednesday, May 27 which coincidentally falls on my birthday. Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me, to me. to me to me!

I have other concerns too aside from the first three. Now that I have realized that my physical, and mental being are impacted by stress, I will exert more effort to manage stress and cope with depression. I will try to deviate my attention, think of happy thoughts, do things that I like, or indulge in things or activities that will make me happy.  I will try.

depression

Comments

  1. praying for you ms annie, wishing that the good Lord takes away all your anxieties and fears. happy birthday!

  2. Happy Birthday Ms Annie, I always have happy thoughts when your birthday comes. Praying for your well being as well.

  3. Do the best you can Annie . Your faith (in Him ) will help you through . You need to sleep . Maybe your doctor can prescribe you something .

  4. ( OhMy Buhay ) ‍
    Take care, Keep safe, Stay positive, strong and healthy. Pray and Keep the faith.
    God bless, guide and protect you, Kuya Edmund and your family. Amen
    ( Stay Beautiful and Strong ..
    inside and out, dear Ate Annie! )

  5. Deuteronomy 31:8
    “The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”
    The Good News: While depression can make you feel lonely, God is still there with you. And he’s not going anywhere.

  6. Whenever you r feeling down, think of all your blessings n d beautiful family you have and everything will fall into place. Keep on praying too!

  7. Think positive and prayers, that’s we need these days. Keep faith.and keep safe always.. God bless. Advance Happy Birthday.

  8. Keep the faith remember you are not alone lets keep praying for each other! God bless you more!

  9. Hi, Annie C. Tan-Yee!
    Yes you need to have your mind occupied with more positive thoughts…! Tsaka to transform our worries into prayer..Purbahan mo rin ang maitutulong sa iyo ng massage therapy.How about a self study on Reflex therapy? Galing nito sa ganung problem.Pati ear therapy.Magsesend ako sayo ng drawing kung saan pwedeng masahihin….AND ONE OF THE MOST POWRRFUL MEANS TO SLEEP IS THROUGH THE RECITATION OF THE HOLY ROSARY…TRY IT! SHE IS OUR MOTHER..!

  10. LIFT IT UP TO OUR ALMIGHTY GOD,,Your BURDEN,,HE WILL GIVE YOU REST…BE THANKFUL ALWAYS….AMEN SEEK YEH FIRST HIS KINGDOM AND HIS RIGHTEOUSNESS and All THIS THINGS SHALL BE ADDED UNTO YOU….AMEN

  11. Some days are just bad days! Awareness is half the cure… keep yourself busy, do things that make you happy and focus on now, which is the safest place to be! Namaste!

  12. I will pray for you,Ms. Annie. Times like these don’t help much with our mental health, but we will overcome this. If the burden gets too heavy for me, i always find myself offering said burden to the souls in purgatory. And i pray, pray and pray. I do believe the Lord will not give us burdens we can not carry.

  13. Stress can be a good thing when handled positively. It helps you achieve more. It helps you be more productive. You can’t escape stress, so the best thing to do is manage it.

  14. Relax and get some sleep. Everybody is having some form of depression right now. I had it but turned around and I slept more and ate more nutritious food, less coffee. Have some quiet time, pray and ask for guidance from our Creator. It helps a lot. Talk to someone you can trust or write about what you feel.
    Advance happy birthday, Annie. Have a glass of wine and cheers to you. Stop worrying because we cannot control everything.

  15. Before i sleep, i always say ” Bahala ka na Lord” …i lift everything to you..whatever the outcome, You know what is best..” ..i also hold my rosary and try to say it..☺☺☺Thats what i did during my daughter’s days in the hospital.


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