Do you still remember the innocent days when a scrap book is the equivalent of Facebook in modern times? It’s kilig all the way when we are signing and reading the answers of our friends and classmates.
What is your favorite color? Blue.
Favorite food? Alamang.
Favorite teacher? Wala.
Who is your best friend? Careful because this question almost always sparks jealousy among friends. Si ano pala best friend nya, akala ko ako. Hu hu hu.
Comes the kiligest part.
Who is your crush? Yung nasa row 5, tabi ng dingding.
What are the qualities do you look for in your dream boy? (Generic answer): Tall, dark, and handsome.
Ayan, that’s where the problem is. As a blooming teen our concept of what qualities we should look for in a boy is based on looks. Sa bagay kung pangit naman we won’t even bother to look. Hindi na dream boy yan.
The TDH thing is only the first attraction especially to teens and tweens. But as we get older, as we mature, as we climb the ladder of wisdom, we look for more important or substantive qualities. Our vision of dream boy fades. We become more realistic, some still keep the dreaming, but no longer about a boy. Ladies now look for a man who possesses qualities based on specifics and no longer the generic tall, dark, handsome. We now accept that it could be tall, dark, and handsama.
One common quality that comes out on the top list of more mature (not old) women is that of being a good listener. Not a good talker, but someone who has an open mind, a genuine interest in what we say no matter how petty or deep. A guy willing to sit quietly, participate in the discussion by understanding every point one makes. Oh this requires another quality— a ceratin level of intellligence to understand what we say.
You will be lucky if on your first date he already shows his true self, or you are sharp enough to notice that he is no way a good listener.
Most dates pass the first challenge. Both men and women pay attention to each other, all eyes and ears. They hear every word the other person says. They show empathy, genuine concern, full attention to the max. Every topic therein is novelty, interesting, new. Everything the other person says seems brilliant and yet they could be mundane. The big difference is the two persons pay attention to each other. They are still attracted to each other so every topic sounds interesting. Then we conclude that he is a good conversationalist.
I’ve also heard women say “he is a shoulder to cry on”. Years later, his shoulders will be the reason to cry on, and he wouldn’t even care for the reason. Get it?