There were three things that dampened my spirit today. Konting ihip na lang ng hangin tutulo na luha ko. I needed some kind of booster and reassurance that these downers would pass so I decided to spend a few minutes inside the church in Guadalupe before proceeding to the office, but sadly, the gate was closed. This was the very first time that I had seen their gate locked.
Sayang, this is my favorite go-to place when I need some solace.
I proceeded to the office and stayed there for a few hours.
Before going home, I went to Christ the King in Greenmeadows Avenue. The church doors were all locked. Di ba there’s a line in a song….”just when I needed you”.
I told the security guard I would just light some candles. He made me fill out the contact tracing form. He noticed that I shortened the name of our subdivision so he asked what those abbreviations were.
He also told me “ayaw ni father maglagay ng ashes.” I wasn’t aware that it was Ash Wednesday today.
Security guard—-“Gusto mo ba mam maglagay?”
Meron daw syang mga abo dun sa supot. I was so confused. Was he volunteering to pahid the ashes on my forehead? I didn’t respond. Mahina pick-up ko today. Ewan kung ano dinudukot nya dun sa supot. He was giving me a sachet with gray thingy. Ayaw kong hawakan, kasi naisip ko baka cremated remains yun kung saan nya nakuha.
Omb——- “Ano ito?”
Guard—— “Bless na ni father yan.”
Omb——— “So, ako na lang magpapahid?”
Guard——- “Oo mam, good for 5 yan”
I lit 4 candles and prayed outside. Hayun na, natulo na luha ko, hindi na napigil.
I feel like an abandoned child today.
I brought home the sachet of ashes-to-go but never got to pahid it on our foreheads. Medyo parang weird kasi.