Older People Must be Models of Good Behavior

I am so disappointed with Antinola. Lagi na lang she instigates chaos here. The other maids leave because of her. They always complain about her bad behavior, mostly nagging and tsismis.

I treat her like a friend. I take time out to chat with her when I am in the dining area. She could be lonely so I make it a point to make kwento-kwento once in a while. We, old people, like to have a good conversation to express whatever pettiness we want to share.
When I told her we’re brining Jebel to the US, and that next year I plan on bringing along a personal assistant. She got excited. She said she could be my assistant. Hindi pwede, hindi nya kayang buhatin ang mga maleta ko. Three days ago she told me she wants to have an Americano boyfriend. Boring-boring daw life nya without romance.
A—–“Yung mga lalaki naghahanap yan ng mga bata, sexy at good s e x. Kaya mo pa ba?”
She looked at me, then she said “Pwede ko namang gawan yan ng paraan.”
Ano kayang paraan?
Her daughter daw sent her the link to a site where Americans look for brides. I think she’s pushing 70 that means she needs to find a guy who’s 90 at least. Men prefer young women. Since she’s no longer young, then she must look for someone very old. This means America cannot be her destination because men there die young, 80 to 84. Antinola must instead go to Okinawa, Japan or Serbia in the Mediterranean because there’s a bigger chance of finding a sexy 90s groom-to-be.

I keep her not for her cooking prowess. We make tiis whatever dishes she cook. I keep her because I trust her meron syang malasakit sa amin, sa aming bahay. Taong bahay dito most especially that we are always away, sometimes in two months. I trust that she will not steal my plates.
Never mind na mukha na kaming tiktilaok sa kakakain ng tinola, fried chicken, adobong chicken, and chicken sotanghon soup. Oh, chicken curry pala.

And another plus, Theo likes her. He smiles and waves at her the moment he sees her. Occasionally she is asked to keep an eye on him when the other yaya will eat or pee or whatever.

For me, if my apopoo likes you, then I like you too.

Two weeks ago, our lavandera left using Antinola as the reason. But in fairness, she quarreled with Rosa, the house cleaner.
Lavandera was taking an afternoon nap when Rosa woke her up, asking her to go to Theo’s room to collect his dirty clothes and lampin.
She got mad at Rosa and a verbal tussle ensued which continued until the following morning.

Edmund was having coffee when he heard the loud yelling. The drivers and BGs tried to calm them down but they continued their away, until Edmund went down to the garage and stopped them.

Lavandera also complained of Antinola’s nagging and making pakialam daw and making tsismis about her love life.

If you want to know a colorful love story, come here at our house and you will be amazed at how colorful the lives of our household employees are.
One has 6 kids beginning when she was 12 years old She left her husband because she fell in love with another guy, kalapitbahay nila.
The pattern is very similar. They have a husband, they have many kids, then hiwalay na sila. Same plot, just different versions. Same love stories of our caretakers in the farm. Laging ganun ang istorya.
When they say asawa, 99% of the time, they are not legally married. Maybe that’s the reason why it is easy to leave each other. Who knows, I don’t know.

Rosa went on a 4-days off. Supposedly two days only but she extended. When she came back, she was visibly very tired. Nakasalampak na lang sa sofa in their room and just tinkering with her cellphone. The next day, the same thing. She was not in the mood to do her chores. I had to call her to get her out of her hiding place, the maids room. She blamed Antinola isinumbong daw sya. The new lavandera told me Rosa spent 4 days with her “jowa”. Nag ulayaw marathon daw. Two days later, Rosa left, using Antinola as the reason.

Rosa messaged my daughter the other day telling her Antinola is making tsismis about us, about our life, about me. And what upset me is she allegedly makes tsismis about my son, whom she has never met. Except for Marine Sgt Jerry, who was my son’s bodyguard when my son was in high school, none of our present staff here had met my son.

I am beyond irritated that Antinola spreads rumors about my son as if she knows the whole story. As a mother this hurts me.

This morning I confronted her. She at first was denying that she ever said anything about me, my son, etc.
But after two sentences from me, she stopped and just kept quiet. I told her what if I spread rumors about her daughter? What if I told that her daughter is like this and like that. I treated her like a friend, and I respect and accept her cooking and limitations.

I didn’t want to talk too much. I am not a nagger. I get tired easily when talking too much. I just emphasized that she destroyed the trust and respect I had accorded her. That as an older person, she must be a model of good bahavior. Ang tawag dito, tumanda na walang nakatandaan.
Kaya they don’t respect her eh kasi nangunguna pa sya sa bad manners. “Gamitin mo yang edad mo na turuan sila ng mabuting aral”, kung may respeto sila sa’yo lalapit sila maging para kang nanay-nanayan nila, hindi yung nakikipag-away ka pa sa kanila.

Older people, with decades of life experiences, good and bad, mistakes, victories, have a treasure trove of wisdom that young people can derive lessons and inspiration from.

At our age, dapat mababait na tayong lahat.

After three hours of confronting her, I got ready to go to SMX Convention Center in MOA. When she saw me, she wasted no chance in apologizing.
“Mam, sorry. Mam, sorry.” Inis pa ako sa kanya kaya I didn’t respond nor did I look at her. I just completely ignored her.


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